The Truth About Forever
by A Girl In NYC
Summary: With him is tortureous yet ecstatic. Without him is lonely yet defeated. Returning to him and my home of Volterra was the most senseable solution, despite how the Cullens restricted me. Despite Bella and Edward's lives in danger. Caius/OC
1. Living Forever

[1] **Living Forever**

"A volte temo che non vi rendete conto che cosa sono, cosa sono in grado di!" His scolding of me echoes in my mind, his Italian-spoken voice comforting to me.

Truth to be told, I was never like this before. Never in my darkest nightmares or every creeping corner of my mind had I ever seen this happening to me. It haunts and stalks me like a spider creeps on its prey; like a lion stalking a zebra. However, I can't dream or have a nightmare from it. But it still haunts me no matter. The dictionary's definition of a monster is any animal or human grotesquely deviating from the normal shape, behavior, or character. My definition? A beautiful, graceful creature that seems completely harmless, with red eyes and shimmers in the sunlight. But in darkest corners of their minds and blackest hearts, the dictionary's definition comes into play. A creature so evil and malicious comes from beneath the graceful, beautiful surface; and will kill and suck the blood of the innocent living. And truth to be told, I am a monster. Some of our kind are pretentious concerning the matter. Personally, I see no reason in being thrilled about this curse I have. It is taking a human's life in order to stay alive, in our world. We are the hated, the loathed, the damned. We are the vampires.

It was a normal day like always as I roamed the streets of Volterra, Italy in 1805. At age seventeen and had been forcefully disowned by my abusive father, there was not much I could do but practically beg for food or water, even clothing. With blond hair to my middle back and brown eyes, and a beggar at such a young age, I was innocent and naive enough. My life was rough and I didn't think things could get any worse. And hell, was I wrong.

A young girl, around nineteen it looked approached me with a bunch of others, at least thirty people, tourists or merchants from other areas I assumed, as they seemed to all be speaking different languages, German to French to Romanian and Russian. The young girl who approached me was gorgeous and statuesque with long, lustrous mahogany hair and long legs. I envied her unnatural beauty and her high-looking standards, embarrassed by looking at her and comparing her to myself, a emaciated young beggar girl. She smiled, revealing perfectly white, straight teeth. Again I felt this ping of envy, a strong feeling that I wanted to be her. Her voice was silky and reassuring.  
"Ciao!" She said warmly, "You look quite helpless. But pardon me, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Heidi. What is yours?"

I cautiously but politely replied, "My name is Essence." Heidi smirked, "Essence, what a beautiful name. And are you helpless, girl?"  
I was helpless. I had no were to stay [I had been living and sleeping on the streets in various alleyways], I had no place to go, I had no one to care for me. My cheeks burned from my slight blushing as I modestly replied, "Sì." Heidi grinned in a smug-like manner again, her face pleased, "Arrivato, bella. I will take you to food, wine and shelter."

I saw nothing peculiar with this young girl's hospitality and kindness. She was caring and said she would take me to a place where I could get what I needed. Looking back at it now, I was a downright fool for believing such a heartless lie. A trap; of course. The huge group, around thirty-five of us, lined up, stormed down a torched-lit hallway, Heidi leading us. A younger man, at least twenty-four, came down the hallway from the opposite direction. He was unnaturally beautiful as well. He had gleaming red eyes and spiky brown hair. He shot her a smug grin, pointed, gleaming white teeth being revealed. He sleekly murmured to Heidi as he passed by, "Heidi, amore mio. Leave some for me."

Heidi's laughter was graceful and like music, but I almost felt a shock of fear through me once I had heard it. My heart beat faster and faster. I had this feeling of dread and hatred as Heidi guided the large crowd of us towards two large oak doors. I had the slight feeling that I should leave, to run as far away as possible. But it was far too late now, Heidi swung open the two large doors. And my destiny stood before me.

Three men stood there menacingly. The one in the middle had long black hair and unnaturally pale skin, almost papery looking. It looked as though if you were to touch him, he would break; although that [and his deep and threatening red eyes] applied to all three of the men. The one to the left was older-looking, with long brown hair with a sunken face. All three men wore a pendant on their necks that had a large 'V' on it; I noticed Heidi and the younger man who we had passed were also wearing them. But the man on the far right was imprinted into my mind forever.

He was the youngest looking out of the three. He was taller than me by half a foot at least. He had platinum blond hair. His eyes were more red than the others; if even possible. He had a careless and maniacal look on his face, which was flawless and youthful. He wore all black, except for a red scarf on his neck. His face was almost disapproving and bored. I couldn't avert my eyes; he was too beautiful. He locked eyes with me, giving me a guilty expression.

"Meraviglioso, Heidi. You have outdone yourself, bella. They look so appetizing." The black-haired, pale-faced man grinned in almost an evil manner as the large wooden doors behind us was slammed shut, to the large crowd's surprise. Everyone screamed in panic. This was surely not what Heidi had promise me and all of these people. According to all the snippets of fearful conversation I picked up from these foreign strangers around me, I aquirred the information that me were a meal. A meal for vampires; these three men before us. My eyes widened as I realized had been tricked and walked into the trap. And I screamed as the killing started.

All three attacked at the same time, quickly killing each innocent human as every person screamed in fear and agony. Heidi attacked, too. But the three men where bloodthirsty and swift. They killed women, children and men; they seemed to not care what they were doing. I was backed up against the large oak doors. I pressed myself up against it multiple times, trying to escape. But I did not succeed; they were heavily locked and not ready to let me escape. I screamed as I watched people get killed. The most bloodthirsty was the platinum blond-haired young man that had locked his guilty-looking eyes with me. He was tearing people limb from limb. I stared in fear, knowing that I could soon be next. And sure enough, he approached me; I was one out of six left. He had a cat-like slyness about him; he was devious and cruel, the way he approached me. But his eyes locked again with mine, and the guilt in his eyes returned. He hesitantly moved towards me.

"Per favore, per favore," I almost whispered, tears streaming down my face, "Non dolermi, supplico di lei."

His eyes flickered. His evil, smug smile vanished. His eyebrows raised, consideringly. But he dove for my neck and I awaited to be bitten and closed my eyes, tears still spilling down my cheeks. After about ten seconds, I felt no pain. His arm gripped me, hard, surely enough giving me a cut or bruise of some sort, but no bite. I breathed heavily, my heart beating faster and faster. I slowly opened my eyes and I saw that he was inches away from my neck. He was hesitating. The black-haired vampire came forward towards us anxiously, as the older-looking one killed two other humans across the large foyer-like marble room, which had three thrones up on a platform at the far back.

"Dio mio! Caius," The black-haired one adressed the vampire holding me in a surprised tone of voice, "Go through with it! The poor ragazza is awaiting it in agony."

So the blond young man was named Caius. He reluctantly removed his posture from atempting to bit me to upright, and he held my arm in an agonizingly painful grip. The black-haired vampire looked at Caius in great surprise, as did the older vampire who had appeared next to him.

"I--I...I cannot," Caius admitted, his tone abruptly surprised by himself. "I can't, Aro."

The black-haired vampire was apparently Aro. He seemed to be competeing in the leading role of the three vampires with Caius. I couldn't really tell. But I learned the older-looking vampire was named Marcus, and he smirked as I fearfully looked up at all three vampires. Heidi strode over.  
"What is the problem?" Heidi wiped some blood away from her mouth.

"Caius cannot seem to kill this human," Aro said irritably. Caius shot a dark look towards Aro, as if trying to insult him by a mere glance. Heidi smiled smugly at this, "This one? This mere beggar girl? I picked her up off the street. She means nothing." Heidi snapped.

I was trembling in fear, almost as though I was going to faint. Fear was overtaking every emotion and I was sure I was going to have a meltdown. Four vampires in front of me. All bloodthirsty. All of them had killed humans in front of me. I blinked a few times, tears streaming down my cheeks, and I realized I was really trembling under Caius's grip. Aro noticed this and calmly turned to me.

"My dear," He cooed, "Your name?"

I couldn't speak; at least it felt that way. My face flushed and I trembled even harder now that this vampire was addressing me. But I answered, not daring to disobey. "Essence Rossi." I replied.

"May I?" Aro asked, and outstretched his hand. I hesitantly put mine in his, not caring much anymore. They would attack me, I knew it. Aro cupped his hand over my trembling one. He brushed over it with his cold and stone-like feeling hand, his papery skin moving over my tentants underneath my skin of the knuckles. His face was undecided and seemed disturbed, but then he lightly smiled. "Ooh, Caius. I now see why you cannot."

Caius shot a look towards Aro. Marcus and Heidi stared over back at him. I stared up at Aro, tears pouring like a waterfall down my cheeks. He returned my hand back to me, and announced, "She disturbs you during thoughts of killing and bloodshed, Caius. A feeling of caution and danger. She has a gift. Nothing I've seen since Jane and Alec. If she is to be one of us, it would be of wonderful value."  
Heidi glared at me intimidatingly. I bit my lip, trembling even more. Me, become a vampire?

Caius locked eyes with mine once more. I stared into those red eyes like there was no tomorrow.  
Only now, he refused to look away.

I barely had any say in the matter of my mortality and immortality. I had no idea I had any sort of 'gift'. To myself, I was a poor beggar girl out on the streets of Italy. A vampire? Three days before, I had no idea that they had existed. Now I was to become one.

Aro had explained to me everything and anything there was about vampires and their world. I completely understood. They had given me the choice to either become a vampire or to be killed, because they could not afford being discovered and me telling everyone in Italy. I still thought it wasn't much of a choice.

Two days later, Caius bit my neck, traditionally. The pain was excruciating, nothing I had ever felt before. A stinging sensation electrified through my neck, into my veins. As soon as his icy cold lips pressed against my skin and bit down with his white, straight teeth, my life changed forever. I felt as though I would collapse, even though I was laying on a bed. The room around me was fancy and royal-looking. It was marble and had expensive furnishings. Caius stood by the bedside. Aro, Marcus, Heidi and four others [I learned their names as Jane, Alec, Felix and Demitri] stood on the side, giving Caius his space in changing me. I remember how I shook and twisted and turned in pain as the venom went through me. I remember my rebeling against Caius for changing me afterward; yelling to him how it was not fair that I hadn't had a choice. I learned of Caius's short temper and impatience and sometimes cruelness -- he acted as the alpha most of the time. And I remember the day Caius placed the Volturi 'V' pendant around my neck, signaling I was a part of the vampire royal family.

* * *

I now twirl the Volturi pendant around my fingers, the metal clashing up against my black-painted fingernails. My skin is as cold as ice. My kisses are ice cold. And I remember am not human. Without Caius by my side, Ifeel as though I feel nothing. My heart is with him. I now attend school in Forks, Washington, in America. Thousands of miles from him.

I live with the Olympic Coven of vegetarian vampires, also known as the Cullen family. None of us are truly related. I have two 'sisters'. Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale. Then I have three 'brothers'. Edward and Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale. I am supposed to be a triplet with Rosalie and Jasper as a cover-up in the human world, because I have honey blood hair like them. Now my eyes are honey instead of red. Even though my last name is Hale, Caius gave me his first name as a last name when he changed me.

"Essence Caius-Hale!" Alice sing-songed my name as she caught up with me in the hallway, "Are you ready for Bella's birthday party tonight?"

* * *

[[So here it is. My first **Twilight Saga: New Moon **fanfiction. Please review. I absolutely love Jamie Campbell-Bower, and I thought Caius wasn't talked about enough in New Moon. So here's the new fic about his character and an OC I made up. Please, please, please, please...review!]]


	2. Love Story

[[Changed/added a bunch to this chapter; thought it was too short and not very detailed. Please review]]

[2] **Love Story**

I blinked at Alice, my honey blond eyes studying her. Bella Swan's birthday at our house tonight. Bella Swan, the human that was Edward's mate. She was a handful. Always getting us into trouble and putting herself into danger. I didn't mind Bella, really. She was awkward and quite boring at times, but I respected her enough to treat her nicely. Of course, being 'raised' as a vampire by Caius, a bloodthirsty and cruel vampire of all intents and purposes, made me crave blood more than ever while I was in her company. I had to truly restrain myself and couldn't get close to Bella. The oddest thing about her was that I couldn't use my skills on her. My skills were the ability to recall any memory you've ever had and the ability to cause excruciating pain if I even looked at you, a gift I shared with Jane of the Volturi. And the final, not-so-important ability I occupied was the ability to convince a vampire to not attack. Nothing worked on Bella, which surprised me.

I was the only vampire in our coven who refused to wear the Cullen Crest. I wasn't ashamed of wearing my Volturi pendant. Caius had claimed that even if I had left, I would still be part of the vampire royal family. So technically, I was a Volturi member living with another coven. I occasionally would sneak human blood, which annoy the hell out of Carlisle and Esme, my parental figures. Carlisle was still attempting to break my habit of thirst for human blood. But for being raised drinking it, I couldn't stop so suddenly. It would take time.

"I guess so," I bit my lip and kept my head down, twirling my Volturi pendant with my fingers, "She's turning eighteen."

Alice looked down guiltily. She knew I couldn't stand talking about youth and love and lust. She had Jasper. Rosalie had Emmett. Edward had Bella. Carlisle had Esme. I was the one in my family who had no mate; at least not a mate I could hold hands with walking to Biology class or a mate I could kiss by my car. Caius was royalty, a high-standard ancient vampire who never left Italy. If he went to my school, he would go into a frenzy and it wouldn't end well.

"Yeah, she is." Alice tried to lighten my mood, "It will be fun!"

I shrugged in response. I was in one of my Rosalie-like moods today, angry and not wanting to talk much. Alice and I walked into English class, meeting up with Jasper. They sat in the back corner together, and I sat next to them as they cuddled throughout Romeo and Juliet. I missed Caius more than ever now. I missed the way he spoke to me. I missed his protectiveness over me. I missed the way he kissed my lips so quietly and softly, ice cold against my own lips, the way he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I missed the way he slowly tangled his hand in mine. I even missed the way he scolded me concerning I underestimated myself and my rebelling against him, as he spoke in Italian and English mixed together. I missed the way he twirled my Volturi pendant with his fingers and smiled proudly at me.

I decided to tune out of Romeo and Juliet, after seeing it over a hundred twenty-six times. I recalled a memory of Caius and I. I recalled my memories of him when I couldn't stand sitting there without him. I shut my eyes and again twirled my pendant, trying to concentrate. My memory went all the way back to July 18, 1868.

***

He ran so swiftly and easily, gracefully and beautifully. His eyes sparked with red, his skin slightly sparkling. A smile was on his face for once, replacing his uptight and angry expression. His feet barely touched the ground, he ran so gracefully. I swiftly ran in front of him, looking back teasingly with my deep red eyes. My hair loosely blew with the wind as we ran. He stuck out a hand and gently took mine caringly. I smiled back again.

The deep thickets of woods around us was mystic and dream-like. The large trees were green and brown with life, and shrubs and ferns surrounded our heels like vines. The soil on the ground was fresh, and the grass smelt fresh and clean from the earlier fallen rain. My bare feet left footprints behind me. It was the one and only day Caius agreed to ever do this, to break his own rule. We had escaped out of Volterra in the rain. We were now in the woods in front of the city. I had begged Caius to let me out into the wild. So he finally decided to and we had just hunted. Now we ran. I laughed lightly as he slightly chased me, and looked back. He was smiling, too.

I ran faster now, laughing. He laughed, too. Something he normally never did. He was cold-hearted, I had to admit. If a traitor was brought before him and Aro and Marcus, he would smile and sneer when the traitor's head was snapped off. He couldn't care less about anything. Which really surprised me that he actually cared about me. It was rare to even see a hint of a genuine smile on Caius's face. And it made me happier that he smiled. I was surprised, too, that he allowed me to leave Volterra. Under his supervision, of course. Caius watched me like a hawk, as though I was five years old, while I was seventeen. Well, techinally I was sixty-three years old, but trapped in a seventeen years old's body. Caius was trapped in a nineteen year old's body, the youngest looking in the Volturi. He was over-protective of me, no matter how much I rebelled against him.

I escaped behind a tree, still laughing lightly. He swiftly came to the other side and kissed my lips eagerly, pressing his ice cold ones against mine. He entangled his hands in mine. He smirked slightly and whispered, "Per l'appartieni di mi di tu di sempre, il capito di hai? Non lasceremo mai ogni altro, il mio bel bambino." His Italian voice soothed my ears. His eyes, red and dark, stared into mine.

"It seems I've found the road to nowhere and I'm trying to escape." A tear slipped down my cheek, "You mean what you claim, Caius?" I replied, no expression on my face. My eyes searched his serious expression. Another tear came down my cheek at what he had said. He blinked, his red eyes gazing at me, wiping the tear, "Every word."

***

My memory was called back to the present when Mr. Spektor, my English teacher, barked at me, "Miss Caius-Hale! Please tell us the last few lines in the movie." Jasper and Alice side-glanced at me, knowing I had been too busy back in my mind. But I knew it anyway, it was just a since all vampires had. I shrugged and sighed and answered.

"True, I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy. And for you and I are past our dancing days." I answered. The quote ironically teased me, that it somewhat reflected Caius and I. Mr. Skeptor grunted and resumed the movie. Alice placed a ice cold hand on mine to comfort me, and I nervously twirled around my Volturi necklace.

Later at lunch, I sat with my coven--er--family. Jasper, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice. And Bella. Truth to be told, I actually really didn't mind her. She was sweet enough and really humble. And she hadn't told anyone about us being what we are. So I had to be loyal to her about that. She bit on celery as Edward slung an arm around her. You would have thought that Bella seemed to think I was the most interesting out of our coven, the way she talked to and questioned me sometimes. Usually it was about what I wanted to do to kids in our school, or about the vampire world in general.

"Mike Newton squeezed my butt today in Biology. Maybe I can torture him." I teased and winked at Bella, who was laughing. I did fight the urge to shoot a look at Mike Newton, a cocky, over-confident blond who used to be friends with Bella. Just one look and he'd be buckled over in pain, feeling as though the wind was knocked out of him. But I resisted.

Jasper gave me a side smirk. He was truly like a brother to me. He and I did look alike, our honey blond hair and height the same. But his personality was quiet yet hilarious. He could just look at you a certain way and I'd start laughing. Edward disapproved of my joking with Bella, of course. "Essence, don't encourage her to talk you into hurting people." Edward smirked at me. I shrugged, "Who really cares, Edward? I mean, he wouldn't know it was me..."  
Emmett shouted, "Do it!" Edward shot him a dirty look, "Not unless you would like to provoke the Volturi."

"The Volturi?" Bella inquired. "Who are they?" I sighed.

"The vampire royal family," Jasper replied. "They make the rules, and we follow them. If we don't..." Jasper made a cutting motion across his neck, "They are legit bad-asses of vampires. There's three leaders; Aro, Marcus...and Caius."

Bella's eyes widened. "There is a vampire royal family?"

Emmett nodded. "Of course, they won't but up with any bullshit. They mean business." He shot a curious glance at me then to Bella, "Ask Essence. She's actually part of the Volturi family, and her mate is one of the leaders, Caius."

My eyes widened. Way to scare Bella, Emmett. I didn't really want to talk about it or scare Bella. She was a human friend. And now she probably thought I was going to tear her limb from limb. Bella glanced at me, "Really? You're part of the vampire royal family? Essence, why didn't you tell me about it?"

I shrugged. What harm could telling Bella do?

"Yeah, I am. Notice I don't wear the Cullen Crest," I pointed out, showing her the Volturi pendant that hung from the chain around my neck, "And yes, my mate is one of the three leaders. The Volturi is the most incredible covens I've ever seen."

Bella seemed really interested. Edward scowled at Emmett.  
I wanted to scowl at Emmett, too.


	3. Missing You Runs Too Deep

[**3**] Missing You Runs Too Deep

"Happy Birthday, Bella!" Esme hugged Bella tight. Alice snapped pictures and Rosalie gave a snotty why-do-I-have-to-be-here look. I sighed and fidgeted with my black cocktail dress. This would be a long night. I craved blood so bad, I really wanted to drink something. Bruises had formed under my eyes from my thirst, and I hope no one noticed. Esme had given me a suspicious glance but I had ignored it. So this is how I spent my night; watching Edward and Bella kiss and be happy together. Rosalie huffed, "This must be terrible for you, Es. Watching some bratty, untrusting human feel love of a vampire while you do not. It's a shame, it is. And you're part of the Volturi. You shouldn't even allow this. Aro, Marcus and Caius wouldn't approve. Yet you are doing this..._human_...a favor."

I blinked, "I know Aro and the Volturi wouldn't approve, Rose. But what can I do? Kill her? Go to the Volturi and tell them? Edward would be heart-broken if I attempted to kill her or provoke them."

Rosalie's mouth twisted into a sneer. "Better heartbroken than with a nasty little bitch of a human. It doesn't bother you, Essence, that this girl, awkward and boring and mortal, is allowed to be with her mate while you can't? Being restricted from love? It doesn't seem fair to you, I mean. I have found love in Emmett. Alice has found love in Jasper. Esme has found love in Carlisle. And Bella has found love in Edward. You have found love in one of the most powerful and most cruel vampires in the world, yet you are not even able to see him regularly? I don't think that's fair to you." Rosalie was right.

Earlier I had heard Bella and Edward discussing the Volturi and myself while studying the giant painting in Carlisle's office. Alice and I had been eavesdropping to tease Edward later.

"The Volturi is the closest thing vampires have to royalty." Edward explained as Bella looked intensely at the painting. "As Jasper explained, they enforce the law." The painting portrayed Aro, Marcus and Caius overlooking a party in the Volturi's mansion. It was a huge, marble castle-like antique of a building in the square of the city of Volterra, Italy. The portrait had been painted around 1890. "Vampires have laws?" Bella asked.  
Edward nodded in response, "The laws are simple, really. Obvious, even. The main law is not to make a skeptical of yourself, to reveal what you are. Or to keep the secret of our kind quiet. And that we don't kill conspicuously. Unless you wanted to be killed."

"Is that Carlisle?" Bella asked Edward and slightly pointed to the painting. Edward half-smiled. "Yeah, he lived with them for a few decades. He described them as very refined; really elegant and classy. No respect for human life, of course. But much respect for the arts and sciences, at least. And the law. Above all, the law is what they respected."

Bella's eyes grew wide. "And Essence?" Edward blinked, and looked at the hardwood floor. "She would be angry if I told you her past." Bella curiously cocked her head to the side, "She already told me most of it today during lunch, Edward."  
He gave a half-smirk, as if he was thinking of a joke only he knew about. "She talked to you of the small details. The small details of a long story."  
Bella eyed him, "Edward, tell me." Edward sighed. I decided not to say anything and interrupt him. I didn't really care if he told her. Who was she going to tell?

"When Carlisle went to stay with the Volturi," Edward started, "He saw Essence, faithfully by Caius's side. She never left him and he never left her. I guess she either always stood by his throne or sat by him on the steps. Apparently he watched her like a hawk, practically never taking his eyes off of her. Carlisle noticed how young she was, around seventeen. He asked Aro why she was there. Aro explained that Caius had bitten her."

Bella's eyes grew wide, "Oh."

Edward shook his head, "Essence, unlike any others in our family, still has a faded scar of were Caius has bitten her. Aro described their love as sort of a protective-like love. Caius is known as the cruelest leader of the Volturi, and taught Essence to hunt and kill like him. He also encouraged her to kill as quickly as possible. Apparently, when Essence is around Caius, she picks up her old ways right away. She was so bloodthirsty, Carlisle proposed to her that he was going to establish a coven, our coven now, and he thought it best she'd come with him. Aro supposedly had a hard time parting with Essence, seeing as he was practically like a father to her. But Caius just wasn't the same when she left. Carlisle thinks that's why he's the cruelest, because Essence isn't by his side."

Bella raised her eyebrows, "Why did Carlisle sweep her away? If she was happy with Caius, why not leave her alone?"

"That's what Carlisle regrets." Edward continued, "Caius is always perpetually angry. Essence gets upset and angry and all defensive really easily. And he knows it's his fault. I mean, when she was living with the Volturi, she had a very powerful role in the coven. Aro had her kill some of the traitors, even. That's a significant task signifing power in the Volturi's eyes. Technically, though, Essence is a Volturi member and part of the family, just not living with them. Carlisle feels bad enough, though. He feels as though he's ripped them apart from each other. It's like me and you never seeing each other, ever again. She misses him. But Carlisle felt as though it was wrong for her to be doing such bloodthirsty things, and insisted she join the coven."

Bella nodded. "I feel so bad. I had no idea."

I looked down at the ground, my eyes searching around to distract myself. Alice placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I recalled a memory. A memory from the painting.

***

My red eyes flashed around the room; it smelt of perfume and expensiveness as I watched ladies and their men dance in an organized, graceful manner. This masquerade ball was something the mortals attended, some vampires. Half and half, I'd estimate. My dress was white and lacy, fancy and expensive. My necklace hung proudly around my neck. My hair was down and down up in a beautiful manner, which was usually hard to manage because it was so hard to handle. Heidi and Jane were with me, grinning as we tried to pick out who were mortal and who were immortal. Jane, who was frozen at fifteen years old, had the mind mentally of a twenty-five year old. Heidi tousled her long, luxurious brown hair and blinked at a young man across the room. He was immortal, his eyes were red. She smirked and left us, off to this new immortal boy, who took her and danced, away in the distance of unrecognizable faces.

I gazed towards the balcony above the masquerade. Aro, Caius, Marcus and Carlisle stood proudly over the balcony. Carlisle was more in the distance, letting the three leaders show their pride. Aro was the furthest out over the balcony, Caius the second, Marcus the third. Caius took a step towards the balcony, gazing over. His eyes locked with mine, and nodded, then looked to Aro. Aro and Marcus looked to Jane and I and the four of them disappeared into the darkness of the upstairs hallways. I carefully guided Jane out of the masquerade, the music fading as we exited the ballroom and into the dark, dreary, torch-lit hallways for the Volturi mansion.

The heavy, dark wooden doors of the hall of the Volturi, which I remembered I had tried to escape from so many years ago, swung open, curtosey of Felix and Demitri. I strutted in, Jane behind me, also walking proudly. In front of the three leaders, who sat on their thrones, was two guards holding a rough-looking vampire. This could only mean that Aro, Caius and Marcus expected me to kill him. Aro welcomed me with a smile.

"Essence, la mia bella bambina!" Aro said warmly, kissing me on the forehead like he always did, "Let us get this over with, yes?"

I smiled up at my father-like figure and nodded. Aro returned to his throne with Caius and Marcus gazing at me. Caius's eyes were heavy, like a lizard watching and watching, awaiting something. Marcus had a stern look on his face towards the traitor that kneeled before them. My back faced the three leaders. I could almost feel Caius's smug smile as I twisted off the vampire's head, and Demitri and Felix tore off his arms. Carlisle had looked away in disgust.

"Molto bene, mia cara. Nessuna paura. Coraggioso e duro, che è ciò che siete. Senza cuore e veloce, come ti ho insegnato." Caius approved (in English, "Very well, my dear. No fear. Fearless and tough, that is what you are. Heartless and quick, like I taught you.") and stood up. The dead vampire was already gone and out of sight, taken away by Felix and Demetri and Jane. Aro smiled proudly at me as Caius entangled his icy cold hand in mine and murmured, "Come." And we went down towards the masquerade to join the mortals and immortals, Aro and the rest of the Volturi following.

***

But the day Carlisle insisted I leave broke Caius's heart. "Aro, please understand! Essence doesn't belong here," Carlisle pleaded with Aro as they both stormed into the Volturi hall. I was sitting loyaly next to Caius as he sat on his throne, and Caius's eyes widened at the hearing of my supposed leaving. Aro was steaming mad. "Essence is a main part of the Volturi family, Carlisle. Her place is here." Aro tried to stay patient and polite. "She belongs to Caius." Carlisle glanced at me, "Essence, you know this is not your home. After watching you, you cannot_ really_ like to kill. It's inhuman."

Caius lost his short-temper and stood up, which definatley signified he was angry. I gasped and quietly said, "Caius!" but he ignored me. His eyes locked on Carlisle. He looked like a dog ready to rip someone's face off. "But she _isn't_ a human, Carlisle! She is a vampire, an immortal, one of the damned. She is one of us! You can't turn her into a human!" He defended me.

"Essence is still considered a newborn. She doesn't know how to handle herself." Carlisle proposed. Caius was about to lunge into his intense fighting stance, ready to pounce. My eyes widened. Not Carlisle. He was far too kind and I didn't want him hurt because Caius was trying to protect me. Aro and Marcus's eyes both widened, just like mine.

"La fermata, Caius! Nessuno sangue dovrebbe essere versato a causa di me." I eyed him with a mixture of anger and sadness, standing up as well.

He gazed at me, at first with an icy, heartless look, then replied, "Il silenzio, Essence. Nessuno ha l'autorità per la portare via da me. Lasciarmi lo maneggia. Il silenzio, il bel bambino." (In English, "Hush, Essence. No one has the authority to take you away from me. Let me handle it. Hush, pretty baby.") He meant it, telling me to shut up, because he followed through with another icy glare. So I did what I was told and sat back down on the steps next to his throne and was silent.

"I'm but merely suggesting Essence leave for a little while. Newborns are prone to get overly bloodthirsty and quite violent." Carlisle explained. Aro bit his lip, considering it. Caius shot an intensely dark look at Aro, his red eyes piercing with hatred and protest.

***

Getting back to the party. The room was festively decortated for Bella's birthday and the smell of vanilla-scented candles roamed the air. I stood with Jasper. I ignored what Rosalie had said, even though we were the closest out of the coven besides Jasper and I. I tried to have good time with my coven. Alice flashed more and more pictures, of Edward and Bella cuddling and kissing. They started to open the presents.

"This one's from Emmett." Rosalie murmured, handing Bella a box.

Bella gently shook it, revealing that there was nothing in there. She looked to Emmett with a small smile on her face.  
"A car stereo! I already installed it." Emmett's cheerful face was like a proud puppy. It was cute.

Bella thanked him and Alice handed another present to her, "From me." Bella smiled again and started to open it. And then it happened.  
"Ouch!" A drop of blood dropped onto the frilled carpet. "Papercut." Bella winced.

Everything happened so fast. My eye flickered and instantly I went into a craze. Same as Jasper.  
But before I could even lunge and attack Bella, Emmett restrained me with all his might.

Jasper was already on the move and jumped for Bella, Edward pushed her out of the way, sending her into a table, cutting her arm. Edward threw Jasper into the grand piano, sending the entire thing down and making the keys flow into a disasterous tone.

Edward looked sickly concerned and gazed at me in disgust as I cried out for Bella's blood.


	4. Remembering Yesterday

[**4**] Remembering Yesterday

Bella's arm was streaming with crimson red blood. Emmett pulled me farther and farther away as I cried out for Bella's blood. I even disgusted myself, the thirst for my friend's blood. Emmett dragged me to the back porch, where he attempted to calm me down. Jasper was not far away, being calmed down by Rosalie and Alice, who had both had to run out of the house from the tempting smell of blood. Emmett rubbed my shoulder and hushed me, but the craze was electrifying me. I could still smell the blood and it teased me from the inside of the house. Emmett soothed me and I eventually calmed down, sighing and breathing in. Carlisle came to the backyard with Esme, asking to speak with all of us.

"Edward has taken Bella home," Carlisle said quietly, "So we have matters we should discuss."  
I leaned up against Jasper, trying to find comfort in my brother. He hugged me and I sighed as I listened to what my 'parents' had to announce.

"What happened tonight," Carlisle breathed in, "Was a disaster, truly. We endangered Bella's life, and I'm not blaming Essence or Jasper. I'm merely suggesting that possibly, without Bella being a vampire," He shut his eyes, "It's too dangerous for us to be in her company. And so we have talked to Edward, and we will leave Forks for good tomorrow morning."

The group of us all shot surprised glances at each other. Leave Forks? Where would we go? I was half nomadic, I had no problem leaving. But I didn't think tonight was that big of a deal. Much worse could've happened, seriously. I nervously twirled my Volturi pendant and bit my lip. I felt Jasper's short huffs of sweet breath in my ear. He was nervous, I could tell. Rosalie gave a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look. Alice blinked sadly, eyeing Carlisle and Esme, suggesting silently that they should reconsider. Emmett's honey blond eyes shifted anxiously.

"Are we all staying together?" Alice questioned nervously. Carlisle shook his head, "We'll stay in touch, but I believe it's most sensable we all take a bit of a break. Our coven is far too strong, for human contact. At least for now."

***

So it was decided that we would leave Forks. None of us were able to say good-bye to Bella or Edward. I felt major remorse from harming, or attempting to harm, Bella. I had been restricted by Edward not to call her, answer her e-mails, or say good-bye. I felt truly really guilty. Edward would tell her we were leaving, and leave her. I felt truly sorry that I couldn't tell her I was sorry. I knew Edward would say something cold and heartless so she could forget him easier. I didn't want him to do that, but he did. Alice could tell. My coven was spliting up. Alice and Jasper went away, Rosalie and Emmett claimed they were going to go far away and marry, Carlisle and Esme gone somewhere I don't know. And Edward would reside in Rio. And I found it the most sensable solution to crawl my way back to my home; Volterra.

I was the last to leave our ultra-modern, all-glass home. It echoed with memories and sadness. The grand piano was restored and I ran my fingers lightly against the keys, making a light musical tune that echoed through the walls of the house. It was raining as usual, rain hitting the window pane. I sat down at the piano bench, memories flooding in.

I remember when Edward used to play and practice Bella's Lullaby, a soothing and mystic-like melody that was soothing to the ears. I looked up to the grand staircase and smiled as I remembered when Jasper slid down the banister with a smug gaze on his face. I dropped my head downwards, looking at the graceful-looking white pearl keys of the piano. My fingers instantly started to play Beethoven's _Moonlight Sonata_. Caius had played it for me like Edward played Bella's Lullaby for her. I remember how his pale hands challenged the piano, his hands moving up and down with the melody. And so I did the same.

I dreamy, dark mystic melody flooded the empty house. The rain hitting the glass windows added to the lonely feeling. I sighed heavily as I put as much feeling as I could into this sonata, it didn't matter if no one else could hear it. Apparently I wasn't alone, as I heard a gasp from behind me and, "Essence! Oh, my God. I thought the Cullens were gone for good." It was Bella, tears streaming down her pinkish cheeks.

I instantly got up from the piano bench and walked to her, embracing her tightly. "I'm so sorry for what I did. It's my fault Edward wanted to leave you. It's all because of my attack yesterday. If I could take it back, I would. But it's for the best, Bella. You don't belong in our world." My golden eyes searched hers. "Essence," Bella struggled and pleaded to convince me, "I want to be one of you. I belong in the vampire world. I already know too much anyway. I want to be a vampire. Change me now, and I can be with Edward. It will be all over then."

I shook my head, knowing I was in too deep and I needed to stop this conversation and leave. "Bella. It would be impossible to change you, especially with Carlisle not here. Knowing myself, I would kill you. I'm part of the Volturi, remember? I shouldn't even be talking to you unless I'm hungry and ready to kill you. It's just not right, Bella. I'm sorry." I blinked, feeling extremely guilty. I avoided eye contact with her. "Please, Essence." Bella's eyes were sad and scared, "At least tell me if Edward is alright?"

"He's fine, Bella." I hugged her one last time, "Take care of yourself, for Charlie."  
And in an instant, I was gone, leaving Bella alone in the empty house.

***

The flight on the way to Volterra, Italy was painfully slow. I sat by myself, looking out of the window, staring at the countryside. Questions flashed through my mind. Would Caius still love me and protect me? Would Aro accept me as a daughter-like figure again? Would Marcus still be proud of me? Would Jane and Heidi still be like my sisters, Demetri, Felix and Alec as if they were my blood-related brothers? I hoped nothing would change, for if they did, I was out on my own, without a coven. The airport was crowded with hundreds of humans, and I had to contain myself in order to not attack some random person and expose myself. I kept saying in my mind I would be with the Volturi in a matter of minutes.

As I drove through the country-side, I gazed through the windshield and saw Volterra. It was the same; beautiful, elegant, Tuscany-style. A clump of beautiful tan ancient buildings were clustered together, the city. It wasn't the sunniest day, so I was covered in the glittering-in-the-sunlight ordeal. As I came closer to the city, the large, iron gates creaked open and I drove through. It started to rain, starting to get heavy and heavier. I pulled over to a side-street. I wouldn't need that car anymore. People ran to get indoors as the raining increased, swearing and shouting in Italian in frustration that they had been caught in the rain. But I walked in a relaxed manner and soon the streets were empty, the clock tower striking five 'o clock in the afternoon.

My hair was plastered to my face and I was sure my mascara would soon start to run. I was dressed in a short black casual dress that had modest ruffles in the front with a tight, black cardigan, my hood up. I wore black ballet flats, and I shivered slightly from the cool rain coming from the skies. The rings on my fingers clashed with my black fingernail polish, and I realized that anyone seeing me in the rain in a dark alley would probably piss their pants.

I made my way to underneath the clock-tower, the large dark oak doors the only known entrance to the Volturi that I knew of. Demetri and Felix would be there, watching, waiting. Demetri was a trained tracker, the best in the world. He was even better than James Witherdale, a nomadic vampire that I had attempted mating with last year, who was eventually killed by Alice because he had bitten Bella. Felix was husky and well-built, like Emmett. Except he was smugger and had more cockiness to him. My arms spread out and seperated the large, oak doors under the chiming clock-tower. It was darkness, until I heard voices.

"A trespasser I hear, Felix." Demetri's cold-hearted, British-accented voice drifted into the dark, gloomy air. Little did he know that I was here. I heard rustling noises of two peoples' footsteps walking on cobblestone towards me. And then Felix spoke. "A trespasser? Hopefully some good meat." I heard Felix chuckle, but his voice changed to a heartless and mean hiss, "Come forth!"

My hood was over me, shadowing my face. I gently but swiftly removed the hood and gazed into the two deep, crimson red sets of eyes before me. They looked at me as though they were going to faint, and their eyes signified they had just taken a double-take. Demetri was still as handsome as he always was, spikybronze hair and red eyes with perfect facial structure; no different than the day I passed him on the way to see the Volturifor the first time. Same with Felix; he remained very masculine and hunk-like handsome, his facial structure square and would make any male model hide their face in shame.

"Essence." Demetri spoke in a dazed manner, "Essence Caius-Rossi." He refused to insert 'Hale' into my last name, he hated Jasper. Instead he used my mortal last name with Caius's first name. In an instant, Demtri was kissing my forehead and welcoming me in Italian. And Felix was by our side, embracing me in a rib-crushing embrace after Demitri. "Il mio bambino! Amore mio! Hai restituito al Volturi! Hai returnted alla tua famiglia!" Demitri exclaimed.

I nodded, "I'm here to stay. If I'm still welcome, that is." My eyes wandered to the floor, wondering if the three leaders still wanted me. Aro, like a father. Marcus, like a uncle. And Caius, like a husband. I couldn't be sure if they had forgotten about me.

"Welcome here? Of course you are." Felix sounded offended that I had even thought of it, "Essence, you are apart of the Volturi family. Caius, Aro and Marcus will want to see you right away, however." As he ended his sentence, a little, beautiful voice came out of the darkness. As did a young girl with blond hair and a beautiful baby face with full lips. Jane.

"Demetri, Felix." She hadn't looked at me yet, "Aro felt a disturbance in your duties..." She trailed off and glanced at me, and instantly kissed my cheek and gave a smug smile. You could please Jane, but you could never really make her express how she really felt. "Essence has come back to her family? A good surprise, my sister." She winked at me, "Our masters will anxiously await you. Let us come to the hall, yes?"

***

The dark, gloomy, torch-lit hallways were all-too familiar. I was ecstatic to be here, my home. Jane led us up a stairwell and then into the elevator. After the ride to the upper floor stopped, we stepped into the large, marble, expensive-looking foyer. We were immediatelygreeted by a mortal-looking girl behind a mahogany desk. She had long brown hair and was very exoticlooking, very beautiful. But she was all too mortal; and she craved attention from us, I could feel it. I gazed at Jane with curious eyes. Her red eyes stared back up at me and whispered, "Her name is Gianna. She's a mortal, Aro's idea. She expects us to make her into one of us."

"Ciao, Jane." Gianna said cheerfully as we entered the office, "Felix, Demetri."

Felix winked at Gianna and I rolled my eyes. Gianna shot a curious glance at me. She was quite pretty. Why would Arohave her there? None of them could barely hold themselves for a human. And yet they have one living with them. It puzzled me. But this young mortal batted her eyelashes at me and smiled in a friendly manner, and I could pick up she was ready to be annoyingly pleasing to me once she saw my unusual eye color.

Jane smiled, knowing what I was thinking. "Gianna, this is Essence. She is Caius's mate, and part of our family. She's been away for a few decades, but she's back finally. So, Gianna, Essence. Essence, Gianna."

Her vulnerability to be like me or Jane or Demetri or Felix was so obvious I could smell it. She grinned widely and shook my pale hand, practically albino up against her tan skin. I blinked of her and tried to recall her memories. And I learned she had practically begged for this job as the Volturi's secretary. Nevertheless, she seemed harmless and quite eager. "Essence, it's an honor to meet one loyal and special to Caius."

I smiled and nodded, "Pleasure, Gianna." She was sucking up so badly, it wasn't even funny.

Jane nodded and we started down the long, dark hallways that I had first walked through the very first time I had met Caius. Memories went by me like a hurricane as I walked through the torch-lit hallways. I was so nervous, I didn't know what to say or think. Jane led or little pack, Demetri and Felix behind us. And then, we were finally at the large oak doors. The doors I had tried to escape through. The doors that would show me Caius.

Jane pulled them open with a huge amount of pride, and the hall of the Volturi stared me in the face; the three thrones there; with three men to match. One with long black hair, pale skin; the middle throne. To the left, the older one with the long wavy brown hair and sunken face.

And finally, the youngest one.  
Blond hair, curious and wonderful red eyes.  
He raised his head curiously.  
His jaw slightly dropped in surprise.

"Caius, io sono a casa."


	5. She Lives In a Fairytale

[**5**] She Lives in a Fairytale

"Masters," Jane claimed proudly smirking to the three shocked-looking Volturi leaders, "I have brought home a _present_, from America." Aro, Marcus and Caius were in severe disbelief. Aro stood up from his throne, still shocked, and was immediately by my side, taking my face in his ice cold, papery hands. He kissed my forehead and murmured, "Mia figlia, you have come home. How your family has missed you." A tear streamed down my cheek. This is what I wanted, what I needed. Aro, Marcus, Caius. The entire Volturi guard was my family. The Cullens weren't my family. They were close friends. I couldn't make the same connection with the Cullens I did with the Volturi.

Marcus soon joined Aro beside me and touched my cheek with his equally freezing cold hand, "You have come home, Dear One. A wise choice." He cracked a sunken smile and kissed my cheek. Both men stood in front of me, blocking my view from anything else; and Caius. They both gave each other meek yet approving smiles and parted, allowing me view. And there, standing expectantly, was Caius. His blond hair was long and shocking blond as always. He wore a classy black jacket, pants and shoes, a black pull-over sweater underneath. His Volturi pendant was hanging loosely undearneath the hang of a red crimson scarf that matched his eyes. Nothing had changed about him. A smile slowly crept across his usually angry face.

I quickly and swiftly came into him as he prisoned me into his grasp of his arms. I buried my face into his chest. He had this certain scent that was so attractive and comforting to me, you'll never understand. Caius, being taller than me, put his chin on my head and then ruffled my hair with his icy hand. He pressed his lips into my hair, an icy sensation to my senses. His breath was sweet and calming to me. He comforted me, and I murmured with a smile, "You own my heart."

He gave out a light, musical laugh. His British-accented, firm voice drifted into my ears, "Have I always?" I nodded in response, keeping my eyes shut and head in his chest. He brought my face into his hands and pressed mine to his, and instantly a feeling of happiness electrocuted my entire body. His icy lips left mine and instantly my body craved more of him. And I received what I craved as he kissed my cheek.

"Il mio amore, siete venuti a casa. Sapete Quanto tempo ho aspettato, per Essere ancora con voi? Nessuno può Prendere il posto di amarti. Non posso Prendere un giorno senza di te qui." Caius murmured to me (in English: "My love, you came home. Do you know how long I waited to be with you again? No one can take the place of loving you. I can not take a day without you here."), pressing his lips to my ear. I smiled slightly and embraced him tighter. "You're the closest to Heaven I'll ever be." He reminded me in a low monotone.

Aro clapped his hands together, "So the two are reunited at last. Essence, my dear one, please tell me you will stay for awhile, this tiome around?" I nodded eagerly, "I was hoping I could stay with you for awhile, Aro. I actually don't have a home at the moment."  
Caius gazed at me sternly, "You know your home is here." I was so pleased to hear that.

***

Once our little reunion settled, the three men resumed their seats in there thrones, Marcus on the left, Aro in the middle, Caius on the right. Caius sat with his legs crossed and a smug smile on his face, and I could tell his confidence and slight cockiness had peaked. His hands gripped the edges of his chair. Jane was called to the hall and ordered to show me to our room (Caius and I) so I could get settled. Another party-like masquerade would be held tonight, and Heidi, Jane and I would be getting ready like the older times.

Jane's childish, light laughter echoed the halls as she begun to speak. "When you left, he cracked. And I mean, he lost it. Went out on a hunt and killed over fifteen citizens. Aro somehow covered it up saying it was due to some problems in the water system or something. Caius had every single vampire brought before them killed mercilessly killed, even if they weren't completely at fault. He ripped Athenodora to shreds."

The last sentence, her eyes flickered up to me, the red irises burning holes in my skin. Athenodora, the flimsy vampiress who had always hated me because I had supposedly 'snatched' Caius away from her the day I was bitten by him. Jane hadn't liked Athenodora, so the smug and twisted smile that appeared across her full lips was no surprise to me. But Caius, ripping her to shreds? He was bloodthirsty and not controlled. I didn't want to imagine the sight of him ripping Athenodora apart. It was too disturbing; because I truly could imagine Caius doing that, ripping her head and arms off. "Shreds?" I questioned as we walked down the dark, torch-lit hallways of the Volturi mansion.

"Of course. First the arms and legs, finally the head. Was awfully twisted. And he did it right in front of Aro, Marcus and Sulpicia. So brutal, too. Aro even wanted to help, but he thought best Caius finish what he had started." Jane giggled. "Why did he kill Athenodora?" I asked this question with slight eagerness.

"I can't really tell you, because I don't know the reasoning. If you want to know my opinion, I'd guess because he was so angry that you left him like that," Jane snapped her fingers, "And Athenodora didn't like you much. Maybe she insulted you. He slapped her really hard across the face and yelled at her before he killed her."

I could imagine Caius slapping Athenodora, hard. She would've begged for her life, begged for his forgiveness. He would've then ripped her apart, killed her. Caius was so brutal and cruel, known for his killing methods. I had been recognized before as his mate, or that someone had heard of me. Like James Witherdale, who attempted to mate with me a few months ago. He realized I was Caius's mate and backed off. Victoria Sutherland was his mate, a pompous, bitchy little redhead. And she was still on the move to kill Bella, as was Laurent, their nomadic coven leader. It had happened that night at the last masquerade; the last vampire that had tried to mate with me had had their head ripped off, courtesy of Caius.

The clock struck eight o' clock and I heard murmuring and talking, guests were starting to arrive for the party, mortals and immortals. Heidi entered the room and gazed at me in utter shock. Jane sat by an expensive, ancient pearl vanity. I was ready, Jane had picked out a short, strapless light pink dress with black trimming at the top and black ballet flats. My hair was wavy and my bangs were pulled back. I was ready to get Jane ready when Heidi came into the room, shock on her face. "Essence?" I replied by smiling and winking. In a moment, she was by my side and kissed my cheek. "It's wonderful to have my sister with me once more. And I noticed Caius's anger has toned down, somewhat," She winked at me, "Notice I said somewhat." I lightly laughed and continued to dress up Jane. She always wanted to look so beautiful for Aro.

***

The clock struck nine o' clock.  
The party was starting officially.

Marcus, Aro and Caius all stood proudly in their masquerade attire on the staircase landing. Heidi was on Marcus's arm, dressed in sort of a slutty dress yet elegant one. Jane was by Aro, of course. They peered at each other like they knew some secret only they could tell each other. And lastly was Caius. I went down the staircase carefully on the ballet flats, as they were Heidi's. Caius gave me a reasurring smile and reached out an arm for me to take. His red eyes blinked at me proudly, and kissed my lips gently as I came to him.

"Ready for a hell of a night?"


	6. A Rush of Blood to the Head

[**6**] A Rush of Blood to the Head

The party was incredibly crowded. Mortals and immortals crowded the lavish and expensively furnished ancient room. The room smelt of vanilla and expensive perfume, a dreamy sensation to my senses. After mingling a while with Aro and Caius's many acquaintances and friends, I grew dizzy and nauseous. My eyes were pitch black from lack of blood. I wouldn't be surprised if any of the guests noticed. My eyes were like dark pools of ink. Caius soon noticed this and excused us from Aro and his company in a low murmur, exchanging a hinted glance with Aro. Jane looked after me and Caius with a smug smile as she faithfully remained by the cheerful Aro, who was lively talking to the guests with Jane on his arm proudly.

Caius's blood-red eyes darted around the room anxiously as he made positive no one saw us leaving. His cold hand was entangled in my own loosely as he smoothly walked towards the exit of the massive hall, leaving the guests and the Volturi guard in the distance. The dark hallways were illuminated with gentle, but bright, flickering torch light, the fire dancing high. I didn't care where Caiuswas talking me, for I already knew. He wanted me to drink, drink until my eyes turned as red as his. We broke out of the dark hallway into a large ancient marble room with only a spiral stairwell leading downwards into the floor, in the middle of the room. Caius silently guided me down the stairs in a hasty manner. I followed, and revealing before me was a huge cellar. It was ancient and wooden, oak walls and floors. Torches also lit up the room, a fireplace on the far north wall and two lion statues on either side, and a large cabinet-like wardrobe was built into the eastern wall. Caius spent no time explaining to me and threw open the wardrobe's oak doors. It wasn't a wardrobe; it contained bottles of a red substance; blood.

He opened the bottle and gracefully poured some into what looked like a champagne glass, then handed it to me with great hesitation. I took it from him with shaky hands. "Is it human?" I questioned him guiltily. He shook his head no, "Not yet, amore. You must get used to it again before you can indulge in it completely. For now, you need to drink," he pushed, wanting me to be strong. I slowly brought the glass to my lips and drank, Caius watching me sternly. I drank it so fast and aggressively, it dripped on my dress and of course on my lips. I looked like one of those vampires from horror movies. Caius laughed his firm, British-accented laugh as I smiled meekly at him after I had finished, "You haven't changed much, il mio cantante." Caius knew he obviously couldn't bring me back to the party with blood covering my dress, as the mortals that had attended would freak out. He guided me to the large, ancient baths, kissing my lips with his icy cold ones as he settled me into the circular bath.

***

"Traditore! Bugiardo! Siete spregevoli. E di mentire a noi, a incrociare davanti a noi? Un errore che avete fatto, mio fratello." I heard Aro snap, all the way down the long hallway. It was late after the party, even if the party was still going on. A vampire had attempted to kill a mortal guest, so naturally, Aro, Caius and Marcus had to take care of it. I was down the hall in my room, propped up sitting on the vanity bench, looking in the mirror, taking the pins out of my hair. Jane suddenly appeared in the reflection, and I turned to see her sitting on me and Caius's bed (even though we did not sleep). She smiled smugly at me, "Aro is so...dominant." A sick flicker of pride appeared in Jane's red eyes.

"You love him for that?" I replied as I looked into my reflection. My gold eyes screamed for human blood, so I looked away disapprovingly, trying to ignore my thirst. I joined Jane on the bed and sat next to her. She blinked at my question, considering it. Her full lips parted, as she was ready to speak, but then curled back into a smile, hesitating. "And you love Caius for the same reason. Have you not seen him, Essence? The way he kills? He acts like a predator; no, he is a predator." My eyebrow arched at her consideration and explanation. She was completely right. I shouldn't be criticizing her for loving Aro for one of the same reasons I loved Caius; dominance.

"Essence, Jane. Dear Ones, come to me." Aro's commanding voice instructed us to come forth down the hallways and into the large, Volturi main hall. Assuming we had to help kill this 'traitor' Aro had been screaming at, we instantly slided off the bed and obediently walked down the hallway. Jane's eyes filled with delight as she saw Aro beaming proudly at her, and he took her baby face into his papery hands and kissed her full lips, with grace. As he let her go, he kissed my forehead in a fatherly manner. Caius mumbled for me to join him, and I silently and obdiently sat beside him on the steps, Jane residing next to Aro's throne.

The vampire that stood before us was weak mentally and physically, it was very easy to sense. Aro scolded him for trying to kill the guest, and went on a rant of how much damage it could have done if they had killed the guest and everyone saw. He then ordered for Demetri and Felix to hold the vampire firmly and took his seat beside Jane on his throne. He gave me a heavy-lidded gaze. "Essence, dear one?" He wanted me to kill this vampire. I looked up at Caius. He gave me an approving nod with a smug smile, and I stood up shaking. "Jane, maybe you could assist your sister?" Aro hinted, and instantly Jane was by my side. She gave this traitor a spiteful gaze and instantly he was in horrible pain. And I easily ripped off his head, as he was so vulnerable. Demetri and Felix finished him off.

Later, I laid down on the soft, feathery bed in my room. The ceiling was high and dome-shaped. The fireplace on the far eastern wall cackled, breaking the silence. Caius laid next to me and kissed my cheek. And his eyes glinted pleadingly as he clutched my waist with a freezing cold hand.

***

Caius lay on the bed, resting, but closely watching me as I sat up, my back to him at the end of the bed. The temporary bruises from Caius's "contact" that were all over my body faded as quickly as they came as I pulled over my black shirt and cardigan once more. I turned back to look at my mate and his red eyes examined me and took my hand, pulling me back to him. He rested me on his chest and let me wrap my arms around his torso. My head went up and down on his chest as he breathed in and out, trying to regain energy and strength from our previous contact. His chest was icy cold, hard and chiseled, his skin uncontrollably pale and sharp. My face leaned against his upper chest and he ruffled my hair with his claw-like fingers in a possessive manner. Jane was right; Caius was like a predator. He was like a lion and I was his cub. He instantly raised his head as we both felt a sudden vibe with our senses.

"I smell a Cullen," He smiled at me, his teeth glinting.

* * *

[[Thank you to all reviewers and readers who put this story of their favorites or story alert! It's much appreciated. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual. I'll update soon. **Reviews would be completely amazing**!]]


	7. I'd Never Sing of Love

[**7**] I'd Never Sing of Love

_Flashback._  
Caius gave me a cold, hard stare. His hands gripped the arm-rests of his throne with extreme anger. It had been three weeks since Caius had changed me, and I hadn't exactly been taking it too well. Rebellion was thriving in my veins. Aro and Marcus had taken me in with care, as did the rest of the Volturi guard. But Caius and I had not established bondage. He was beautiful, more beautiful than anyone I've ever seen. But part of me did not want this life, life as a vampire. So, I had rebelled against Caius like a teenager rebelled against a protective parent.

Caius was uncontrollably protective of me. One wrong move by one of the men in the Volturi, whether it was a touch of my hand or a wink, and you would receive a death look or a scolding, courtesy of Caius. He refused to take his red, threatening eyes off of me. Jane called him a predator watching his prey. He would snap or growl at even Aro, if he had suggested to give me some freedom. Marcus said nothing of the matter, but gave me a smug gaze if Caius and I were together. Caius resided his claw-like possessive pale hand either in my own or around my waist whenever I was with him.

Even so, he treated me as though I was a child and couldn't look out for myself. Figuring that, I most of the time lashed out at him. He would shoot me an icy look with those dangerous red eyes and it would instantly silence me. Or, he would protest, "Essence, you try my patience over and over. I saved you from myself and you should consider that a gift." A warning in disguise in Caius language. Around five weeks into being a vampire, Aro held a small meeting in the main Volturi hallway. The entire guard was there. Aro, Marcus and Caius sat on there thrones. Aro had Jane faithfully by his side, her gaze on me approving. For once, Caius did not instruct me to sit by him. Instead, I stood in front of the three men nervously. Was I in trouble?

"Essence," Aro sighed, "It has been so far been a month or so since Caius has changed you. As you can see, we are proud you are a part of our family. However, there is a matter we must discuss." He did not sound angry, but almost excited. "And that is mates."

I blinked at him questioningly. "Mates?"

Aro nodded. "Vampires are usually happier once a mate is by their side and belongs to them. Seeing this, Marcus has noticed a particular bond."  
Marcus could sense relationships. Who did he think had a strong bond with me?

"Essence, I sense a strong relation and bond between you and Caius." Marcus didn't hesitate to come right out and announce it, and spoke as though Caius was not present. "He shows possessiveness towards you, is so protective; watches you like a hawk. Aro and the rest of our coven firmly agree that you should be claimed by Caius as his mate. The bond is too far strong to be broken or denied; by either of you. He is like a predator, and the only thing he wants and needs is you. Every thought, every memory, every emotion, he seems to learn from you."

My eyes flashed to Caius, who anxiously clutched the arm rest on the throne. Marks from Caius's hands digging into the wood were scratched into the chair. Athenodora's eyes burned with envy as she gazed at Caius, her eyes heavy like a lizard. Caius's eyes never left mine; his red eyes seemed to burn holes in my skin, it was such a possessive, yet cold, glance.

"Marcus, I'm not denying what you claim," I bit my lip, "But how can you be positive?"  
Aro answered for him, but not directly. He ran a hand through his long black hair and his eyes glinted with excitement. His lips curled into a smile, looked at Jane, and then his lips parted, "Demetri?"

In the blink of an eye, Demetri was behind me and clutched his arms around my waist from behind, then took his right hand and clutched my throat, tight. I whimpered, for Demetri's grasp hurt my throat terribly. He was pretending to attack me, then whispered in my ear, but enough that Caius could hear, "La mia bella signora."

As soon as the sentence rolled off his tongue, Demetri was on the ground, Caius pinning him down by the shoulders. I stood there watching in awe. Aro was right; Caius would protect me no matter what. Alec and Felix broke up the fight, restraining Caius from doing harm. "Let me go, you bastards." Caius hissed.

Marcus approvingly gazed at Caius and I, as he slipped an arm around my waist in a overly-protective manner, scowling at his fellow Volturi leaders. Aro clapped his hands together and smiled as though that fight was the most wonderful thing he had seen in his life. "Do you see now, Essence, dear one? Caius will stop at nothing to protect you and keep harmful outsiders away from you."

* * *

_Present.  
_"Why. _Why_do I smell a Cullen?" Caius hissed as he wrapped his red scarf around his neck, finally dressed as both of us walked out of the dark hallways. I had finished feeding on human blood for the first time since I'd arrived. My eyes were a crimson red, and I felt more satisfied and calm. I looked like a true Volturi guard; I wore the same outfit as Jane, except the cloak was open and I wore ballet flats instead of white tights and black dress shoes.

I obediantly stood beside Caius, as Jane and Heidi stood beside Marcus and Aro. I kept quiet as Aro addressed Caius.

"Let us not get impatient, Caius. Peace with the Cullens, you remember." Aro arched an eyebrow at him, then gazed at me. "Young Edward Cullen has decided to pay us a visit. Demetri and Felix should be fetching him any second now, I imagine." Caius huffed at Aro's polite answer and sat down. Edward Cullen? Coming here, to Volterra? Why? No one in my coven knew I was here again. I knew Edward would look at me with disgust, seeing my eyes a deep crimson red and faithfully with the Volturi.

"Masters," Demetri and Felix addressed the three men, "Edward Cullen has requested to see you right away." The three leaders exchanged glances. But Aro didn't ask their opinions. His lips curled into an amused smile. "Of course, please send him in, as soon as possible."

The two vampires disappeared instantly.  
Jane chuckled, "The Cullens. Vegetarians." Caius smirked spitefully in agreement to her scoffing the family. Within seconds, Demetri and Felix came in with a very distressed and defeated looking Edward Cullen. His hair was messy and he looked utterly exhausted. His eyelids were heavy, but as he peered up at the three leaders and saw me, his eyes widened. "Essence?" Edward said my name in a whisper, as though he was choking. My eyes flashed to him, the dark eye-makeup that I had applied made me look even more threatening. I sat down very close next to Caius.

I gazed at him, "Hello, Edward."

He glared at me disapprovingly as he noticed Caius lift my chin up with a icy, pale finger and kiss my lips with safistication and gracefullness. Caius threateningly gazed at Edward like he was a bug that he wanted to swat. Caius's eyes then shifted to me, then whispered to not listen to Edward in Italian. He really had a grudge against the Cullens. "Edward!" Aro said gleefully, trying to break the awkwardness that had formed, "How are you? What brings you to Volterra?"

Edward blinked sadly. "Bella Swan, my mate, is dead."  
I felt like hissing when he said 'mate'. Bella was not a vampire. Therefore, she was not his mate.  
But, wait.

Bella Swan was dead?


	8. Lost in the Beauty

[**8**] Lost in the Beauty

"Bella?" I squeaked, "Bella Swan? She's dead?"

Adrenaline and worry rushed through me like a tidal wave. Isabella Swan couldn't be dead. She was reckless and kind of obnoxiously idiotic and clumsy sometimes, but she couldn't have died. Thoughts and concerns whizzed through my brains like electricity. Aro gazed at Edward, and he seemed quite sympathetic of the matter. He sent Heidi and Jane off somewhere before addressing Edward, who was so distressed and sad it made me want to cry. Caius's eyes flashed to me, analyzing my facial expression, what I thought of the situation. My face was blank, however.

"Alice had a vision that Bella threw herself off a cliff in La Push, near the Black's house." Edward's voice was a short, slight breath. "Rosalie called and said that she was defiantly dead. I called Chief Swan's house and Jacob Black insisted that they weren't there, that Charlie was arranging Bella's funeral."

I swallowed hard and shut my blood-red eyes, soon opening them, trying to take in the news. It was a loss, even to me, that Bella was dead. She was a little self-centered, caught between Edward and the werewolf, Jacob Black. Even so, she was a kind enough human, not a mortal that I would be tempted to tear to shreds. Aro's eyes shifted to Marcus, Caius and I, signaling us to let him speak for all of us. "Edward, I'm quite sorry to hear that terrible news," Aro said politely, "Is there anything I can personally do?"

Edward rushed a pale hand through his bronze hair and another distressed gaze formed on his pale, hard face. It seemed as though a million emotions rushed through him like electricity, as if he was deciding something. His eyebrows furrowed, considering his options, his lips parted, ready to speak. "If you approve, Aro. I would not like to live--if that's what I'm even doing--anymore. Not without my mate." Edward wanted Aro to kill him. However, after some contimplation by Marcus, Aro and Caius, they decided Edward's mind-reading abilities were far too advanced and delicate to pass up and destroy.

"Have you made up your minds?" Edward came strolling back into the Volturi hall. Aro sat cross-legged and his hands entagled in his lap, looking almost as though he was still considering it. He ran a hand through his black hair and sighed, "I'm afraid your particular gifts are far too valuble to destroy. You shouldn't throw something so powerful away, Edward."

"I know it will happen, anyway." Edward sighed heavily, again the distressed gaze forming on his face as he exited the hall. Aro sighed as Caius rolled his eyes in annoyance off a Cullen being brought before him. "Such a waste." Aro claimed as we watched Edward walk away, the large oak doors closing behind him. Caius huffed and ordered me to follow him, as Marcus and Aro contemplated what should be done about Edward.

* * *

Caius short bursts of sweet breaths came in my ear as he kissed my cheek. He clutched his freezing, pale hands around my waist with swiftness and possessiveness. His chin rested on my head and whispered Romeo and Juliet lines in my ear in a cold breath, "Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day; stands tiptoe on the misty mountain-tops. For stony limits cannot hold love out."

I buried my face in his chest until my eyes were shut. I breathed, and his familiar, attractive scent satisfying me and feeling protected. His cold hands gripped me in his arms as he towered over me in height, he caressed my back and comforted me. His hand brushed through my hair and his pale, ice-cold lips pressed gently on my forehead with lust in his eyes. He hushed me in a quiet whisper and placed my face in his hands. His eyes searched my equally red eyes questioningly. He put a hand behind my neck and he pressed his lips into mine, and I accepted it eagerly. His lip kissed my upper lip and his lips then grazed my neck, and stopped at the half moon shaped scar that resided on my pale skin. He examined it in silence, and matched eyes with me. It was the scar he had given me when I was bitten, a scar that would stay there forever. I blinked at him silently and watched him as his freezing fingers traced the scar twice, curiousty filling his beautifully handsome face.

In a flash, his icy cold hands gripped around my waist in a claw-like manner, pulling me tighter and closer into his embrace. My breath quickened and my body tensed as he kissed my neck. "You were bitten by me for me to protect and lust after forever." He hissed in a predatory manner. The muscles in his arms tensed, as I could feel them and see the muscles' tendants through his pale skin, they were so tight around my body in a possessive manner. His freezing, icy lips traced my scar and his hands gripped my back like a lion's claws. Instantly, I wrapped my legs around his waist and lower legs and soon I was up against the eastern brick wall. His breath quickened as he released his lips from my neck. "Essence Caius-Rossi, look at me." He said in his British-accented, firm voice.

My red eyes burned into his own. The red irises were swirling with lust, excitement and adrenaline. Black bruises formed underneath his beautiful crimson eyes and above his cheek bones. His bare chest was freezing against my own, the only item he still had was his Volturi pendant hanging loosely around his neck, the same with myself. As his lips pressed against mine again, I clutched his bare back with nervousness, my black nailpolish extremely black against his albino-pale skin coloring. "Ti amo più della vita stessa." Caius paused, his breathing heavy, his usually firm voice trembling and cracking nervously. I nudged my head into his chest like a dog would nudge its' owner affectionately. He kissed my head.

"Caius," A soft, masculine, young boy's voice came through the door of our room; Alec. "A problem has surfaced, and Aro requests you and Essence with him immediatley."

A low growl rumbled from Caius's chest and his white, straight teeth were bared in frustration as he settled me down from around his waist to down on my own feet. His red eyes darted down at me with extreme determination, and I felt uncontrollably vulnerable and small. His lips touched my forehead and an icy electric feeling shocked my body, and I inhaled his attractive and familiar scent.

He pulled over his black sweater and scarf and black pants and shoes, tucking his to-the-shoulder shockingly blond hair behind his ears hastily. I also pulled on my ensemble in a hurried fashion; Caius guided me out the door with him and down the hallways with an arm tangled around my waist, out to to main Volturi hall. Before us was Aro, Marcus, the entire Volturi guard, in extremely tensed positions. And standing there before the three thrones were Alice and Edward Cullen. And...Bella Swan?

***

"How exquisite! Bella, how is it that you avoid an immortals abilities?" Aro cackled with delight. Bella did not look as pleased as Aro did. Jane and Alec looked steaming mad. Marcus looked utterly bored as he watched on. Caius's scowl and sneer reappeared as he saw the two vampires and mortal teenage girl standing in front of him. Edward and Alice were tensed up. Aro swiftly turned around to see Caius sitting down and me standing there, locking eyes with my three old friends.

Aro grinned at my alarmed expression at the situation, and beckoned me to come forth. "Essence, dear one! Come."

I eyed Caius, who gave me a gaze of approval. I hesitantly walked gracefully towards the Cullens and Bella, who all had their jaws practically hanging to the floor in surprise at me being with the Volturi. After all, no one knew where I had gone after that night of Bella's birthday party at our old house in Forks, Washington. Bella gazed at me with a mixture of disgust and curiousity, and for a moment I thought she hadn't believed it before that I had been an extremely bloodthirsty mate of Caius, a daughter of the Volturi.

I admit, I looked threatening. I wore a darker green, vintage, open coat with a dark brown low-cut top underneath, my Volturi pendant resting on my upper chest. My eyes were a bright red and my nails were black. I wore black leggings with black boots. I wore a black glove on my right hand that had the finger spaces cut off, with three silver rings on my hand. My eyes were dark with heavy mascara and eyeshadow. Heidi had transformed me into 'my old self; a Volturi mate', her words, not mine. My crimson red eyes pierced Bella's eyes and she gasped, "Essence?"  
I nodded and gave her a guilty and apologetic glance and Aro took my hand in his, transferring his thoughts to mine, rubbing my hand caringly.

"As Jane has failed at making Bella...in pain," Aro mused, (I noticed Jane look to the ground in shame) "Might you try the same gift you and Jane both share on Bella, dear one?" I felt bad that Aro, the one man Jane looked up to and tried the hardest to impress, had shot her down. And how could I try and harm Bella? Aro's pleading face searched mine as he still held my hand. I nodded once, and I called Jane to me. She was like my little sister, she could add to the help and power. My attention turned to Bella, who was quivering in fear.

"Essence, don't!" Edward snarled, and attempted to push me out of the way with his extreme power, but I twisted myself backwards and flipped over and landed on my feet, in an attacking stance, avoiding Edward from hitting me. Caius was instantly by my side and in an attack stance, like myself. A low rumble of a growl came from his chest. "Edward, don't anger Caius," Alice warned as he stood protectively in front of Bella. "He'll kill you if you touch her."

"Pain," I murmured, not patient enough to deal with Edward and slightly angered that he attempted to attack me. I felt uncontrollably bad as I watched Edward pause and clutch himself in his own arms, stumbling in excruciating pain to the ground. His eyes rolled in the back of his head as he twitched in pain. "Stop!" Bella screamed. It broke my concentration and I looked away to Aro and Caius for approval. Caius gave me a smug smile as he watched Edward stop twitching. I now turned my attention to Bella, who was shaking in fear. Alice was over Edward, who was attempting to get up. My eyes focused onto her and she but merely trembled. It had no affect. Aro clapped his hands together, "Phenominal!" Caius shot an icy look towards Aro and Bella. Now Felix held Edward in a hold. "Now, only if Edward was to give you immortality. Such a shame." Aro hissed, and lunged for Bella. But was interrupted as Alice screeched, "Wait! Bella will be one of us!" After seeing Alice's vision of Bella to become a vampire, Aro decided to let them free. But matters were not yet settled. Edward, Alice and Bella turned to me.

Alice came forth and took my hand, "Essence, aren't you coming back to Forks? The coven is together again."  
Caius's face fell, his red eyes to the ground and his eyebrows arched as though he was in pain.


	9. Seems Like Forever

[Soundtrack for the Chapter: "Possibilty" by Lykke Li]

[**9**] Seems Like Forever

Caius's face was heartbreaking. It was twisted with pain, disappointment and his red, beautiful eyes were defeated. His eyebrows arched and his eyes gazed at the ground; he looked like a lost puppy. Aro glanced at me with uncertainty. Bella and Edward gave me a look that signaled I should go with them. I couldn't leave Volterra, it would kill Caius, and the rest of my family. Jane and Alec's eyes were pleading, and Demetri and Felix scowled at Edward, Alice and Bella. Alice's eyes were pleading and her face was cheerful and expectant, "Carlisle and Esme want you to come back home, to Forks. We've already planned the first hunting trip. Aren't you coming?" Caius pulled me closer into his chest protectively and a low growl came from his chest.

"Alice, I can't leave." I murmured, gazing at her with guilt. "The Volturi have accepted me to my family again. I can't leave like that." Caius shot dagger eyes to the three of them. Aro and Marcus and the rest of the Volturi watched Caius and I expectantly. Caius tightened his grip on my waist to show dominance, and that he owned me, not the Cullen coven.

"Essence, please. I'm sorry this happened so suddenly, and I know you love your family. But the coven cannot function properly if a member is missing. People will start to notice your absence, at school and in Forks. That could be a potential problem for our family. And what about Victoria? You have an ability no one else in our family possesses. We need you to help fight against her. She's already been run out of Forks six times. She keeps coming back. A lot of people are going to get killed if you don't help take her down with us, including Bella." Alice pleaded. Aro's eyebrows arched as he considered what Alice had claimed. His red eyes flickered from me to Caius, who loosened his grip.

"Essence," Aro sighed heavily, his hands together, "Dear one, if your friends need you, you must go with them. You realize that we are your family, and we will always be here for you to come back to. We will always accept you." He kissed my forehead. Marcus was instantly by my side and smiled, "I agree with Aro, my dear. Come back to your home whenever you please."

Caius, however, was a different story; his eyes were filled with predatory hatred as he death-glared at his two fellow leaders. He gripped my waist with posesssiveness on a whole different level. His crimson red eyes gazed down at me, telling me not to speak. "The last time one of you filthy _vegetarians _came here, you stole her away. Why should we let you take her away from her family again? You are lucky we let your little pet mortal live. You should be grateful, and not greedy as to attempt to steal away Essence. She belongs to this family."

Bella quivered in fear as Caius shot her an icy glare when he mentioned her. Aro and Marcus watched the fight with concern. Demetri and Felix glanced at Edward and Alice like they wanted to rip them apart. Edward growled Caius, both of them giving each other extremely hatred-filled glances. Alice didn't respond to Caius's insult with anger, but with patience, "She would only be helping us, Caius--"

But Caius cut her off, "Helping _you_? With killing a simple nomad? It should be easy for you."

Aro blinked, glancing between Caius and Alice. "Come now; Caius, Alice. Essence should help her friends, Caius. She will return once the Cullens are done with this nomad they are having a problem with. But for now, she must leave you for the benefit of the Cullens. You know her abilities are powerful and strong. They need her."

Caius glanced down at me, giving me a sad gaze. His red eyes were hazed over, and I gave him an equally upset glance. Alice was right, though. If Victoria was to come around, I would be able to really help kill her. Without me, it could be harder to take that stupid redhead down. And I would feel bed if Bella was to truly die. But leaving Caius would break both of our hearts. However, it was only temporary, and I could come back to Volterra when the fight with Victoria ended.

"Caius," I breathed. As he kissed my forehead, the icy touch of his lips rushing through my body, "It will seem like forever when you aren't with me." His hands tucked my hair behind my ears. His red eyes examined my face and he nodded in agreement, and he kissed me. I kissed him back eagerly, putting my arms around his neck. "I always swore to you I'd never fall apart," he whispered in my ear in a sweet breath. His lips kissed my upper lip. Reluctantly, we pulled apart and my hands were tangled in his after we pulled apart from the kiss. His eyes searched mine pleadingly as our hands eventually drifted and broke apart.

Edward, Bella and Alice walked towards the large, ancient oak doors, Demetri and Felix hesitantly guiding them out of the room. I looked back over my shoulder to my family, the Volturi, for the last time.

The rain fell heavily as we re-entered the room under the large clock tower that overlooked Volterra's town square. The fountain in the middle was reflecting the heavy rain droplets. Alice's grand-theft-auto, stolen car was parked across the way. The rain felt excellent on my face, and I was glad it rained, because it hid my tears. Alice, Bella and Edward hurriedly scampered to the car. But I smelt something; an attractive scent. His scent.

I whipped around to the clock tower. Standing under it was Caius; and I instantly ran through the rain to him. He came out into the rain. He captured and imprisoned me in his arms, into his chest. The rain poured down on us as he kissed me, his freezing lips pressing against mine. I cried into him, and wrapped my legs around his waist. "I won't live to see another day, I swear. Not without you." Caius murmured as I gazed into his red eyes. I was shaking with sadness and he kissed me again with concern and pain on his beautiful face. "Please watch over me." I begged. He nodded with sincereity, and his hair was messy from the rain; it looked adorable. He set me down hesitantly, and held up my Volturi pendant, which I had forgotten our the fireplace mantle. I gave him a weak smile as he hooked it around my neck and tied his crimson scarf around my neck so I wouldn't forget his scent. He kissed me one final time with guilt, and he vanished into the rain.

* * *

DECEMBER

* * *

JANUARY

* * *

FEBRUARY

* * *

MARCH

* * *

APRIL

* * *

MAY

* * *

Six lonely, lovesick months had passed. Victoria had been up and around the Forks forests, and La Push. It was almost impossible to track her, seeing as none of us had the insane skill that James or Demetri possessed. It seemed like we would never find her. School was torturous, sitting through my classes, knowing he was half way across the world, while Rosalie and Emmett, or Bella and Edward, had their mates right by their side. I longed for Caius to lay me in his lap and murmur Rome and Juliet lines, to tousle my hair and press his soft, freezing lips to my own, or to trace his sharp, icy fingers across the scar he made on my right shoulder. I was in a depression; I hunted on my own, deep in the woods of Forks. I usually sat around home alone gazing out at the woods through my bedroom window, or reading Withering Heights, Romeo and Juliet and Julius Caesar. His scarf that he had given to me to remember him by that carried his scent was the only piece of him I possessed.

Alice and Rosalie attempted to cheer me up and get me involved in the hunting trips and school activities, which was really unlike Rosalie, so I knew they were trying their hardest to make me cheerful. But nothing felt right; I didn't work like normal. It felt like a giant hole had been punched through my chest. The abscence of him was unbearable.

"Essence," Bella patted my arm to get my attention one day at lunch, and my now golden eyes flickered to her, "I'm begging you, cheer up. It's scaring me, how depressed you are." I blinked at Bella questioningly, "I'm fine, Bella. Please don't worry about me." None of my family believed me. I barely talked anymore, and I moped around and didn't spend time with anyone in our coven, not even Jasper, my closest 'family' member. He grew concerned of me and attempted to talk to me in a joking manner so I could forget about Caius and my depression state. But nothing seemed to work.

***

A cloudy afternoon towards the end of May, I went hunting alone. The forests of Forks were deep and thick with vegetation, green vines crawling up high trees and ferns lining the forest floor. I was barefoot, leaving footprints behind me. I preferred nomadic-style hunting, barefoot and dirty hunting. I came to a extensive opening in the woods, a circular area that had a large brown tree and vines and ferns lining it. A fallen branch was attached to the tree, and I rested up against it.

My senses instantly picked up into action and alert as I smelt another vampire, no one I had ever identified before. Not any of the Cullens, not Victoria. I swiftly looked around and saw a very handsome blond young man coming out of the other side of the forest. His hair was dirty blond and spiky, his eyes an alarming red color. He wore wild-child style clothing, dirty and torn with dirt and ripped skinny jeans with a small chain hooking on the pocket. His teeth gleamed as he smiled smugly at me. "You're Essence, right? One of the Cullens?"

I gave him a cold glare, something I picked up from Caius. "Yes, not that it's any of your fucking business. Who are you?"  
He laughed lightly at my snippy response. "Riley. I'm Victoria's mate."

I froze. Victoria's mate? That had been James. Nevertheless, he worked and was mates with Victoria; this was bad. I gave him a piercing, mean glance.

"You shouldn't be here. This is claimed territory by the Olympic Coven. The last time Victoria was here with her mate, he ended up being torn apart limb from limb and burned in a ballet studio. Would you like the same fate? If not, leave now." I growled. Lately, I had no patience with anyone and snapped very easily. Riley laughed. "Victoria said there would be a problem with you. She hasn't forgotten how you twisted James' head off, or tried to mate with him."

"I would never mate with such a scumbag. I have a mate," I hissed at this newborn, "And you can tell Victoria that I found pleasure in hearing the rip of his head coming off his shoulders."

Riley bared his teeth at me, "If that's so, that you have a mate, I'm sorry to say you'll never see him again. Victoria ordered me to kill you first, on account of all the stuff you did to ruin her life." I smirked at this stupid bratty teenage vampire and focused on him, in an attempt to buckle in pain. But it had no affect. None of my abilities were working on him; shit. I would have to fight normally. Riley lunged at me in a blink of an eye; but was knocked away by a force that wasn't me, for I had flinched.

I blinked and my jaw dropped, for I saw a shocking blond-haired young vampire standing protectively in front of me.

* * *

[[Please comment/review! I worked really hard on this chapter. Please let me know if it was good or bad! And thank you to all readers & reviewers! Ooh and haha, I reviewed my own story by accident, I was trying to review another story, so thats why it says i reviewed...haha]]


	10. Flightless Bird, American Mouth

[**10**] Flightless Bird, American Mouth

In a flash, the two vampires were swiftly fighting. It was like James against Edward in the ballet studio so long ago, the way and style they were fighting. They growled like savage dogs, fighting and hitting and flipping each other over. Caius bit Riley in the neck, tearing off part of his skin. Riley yelled. Caius had Riley pinned up against the tree, holding him by the neck in an extremely threatening manner. Knowing Caius, I was surprised when he didn't rip Riley to shreds for pleasure.

"Do you realize that she is of the Volturi? You threaten her, you threaten me. So I suggest you tell Victoria that if she wants to kill, she will have to fight the Volturi." Caius snapped, his eyes black and bruises formed underneath them and his cheek bones. The dark bruises made him look defeated against his pale skin. Riley nodded but glared at Caius, who let him loose of his grip. Riley fell to the ground, shot me a dark look, and vanished into the forest in a blur.

Caius turned around to face me. I stood farther away from him and he gazed at me. His eyes were troubled and sad, as was the expression on his beautiful face. His hair wasn't the way it normally was, straight; instead, it was lanky and messy. He wore a grey mock neck sweater, black skinny jeans, and his Volturi pendant. He did not look like the Caius I remembered, he looked tired, sad and defeated. His vulnerability scared me, for I'd never seen him so upset.

"Essence," He explained himself, his eyes pleading, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't live another day without you. I-I'm sorry." His eyebrows were arched, as if he was in pain, and he gave me a heartbreaking gaze.

I instantly came into him, his freezing arms clutching me possessively, and I breathed in his familiar scent. I felt the muscles in his arms tighten around me, his tendants tense under his pale skin. "Hush, Caius. Stop apologizing. Your non-sadist personality is freaking me out."

He laughed that masculine, musical, firm British laugh. "It's scaring me, too. I haven't fed in weeks. I have practically been killing myself."

His lips brushed my hair and the freezing, icy sensation rushed through my body like adrenaline, static and electricity. "Sempre tra le mie braccia voglio che tu rimanga. Hai capito?" Caius murmured firmly.

I glanced up at him and looked into his coal black eyes, like pools of ink. I reached up and touched the harsh bruises and kissed him eagerly. He took dominance and control of the kiss and pressed his icy lips on my upper lip, and it deepened and intensified. I put my arms around his freezing neck and he put his papery, icy hands on the back of my neck, brushing my hair out my face. The way he kissed me was dream-like, and nothing made me happier.

"Aren't Aro and Marcus angry you left Volterra? Isn't it that you only leave Volterra for extremely important matters?" I questioned. Caius shook his head. "No, Aro and Marcus encouraged me to come here. And yes, it is usually unlikely for the Volturi to leave Italy. But I have made an exception."

I hugged him tighter and he put his chin on my head. "Darling, dammi la tua assenza stasera, prendere l'ombra dalla tela e lasciare a me il bianco." He murmured the lines from my favorite song in Italian.

"If I could dream at all," He added and smiled so meekly, "It would be about you, and I'm proud of that. But, I'm dying, Essence. I can't stand you not being with me. I wanted Aro and Marcus to kill me if you didn't come back. My life, if that is what it is, has no meaning if you aren't by my side. Ti amo." He pleaded and our hands were entangled together. I hated seeing him this vulnerable. Even his appearance had changed. I hated myself for being such a bitch and leaving him. He was cruel, sadistic, mean, domiant.

"Stop saying that," I searched his defeated face, "You are a Volturi leader. I am nothing but one of the damned. You never would have met me if Heidi hadn't brought me to be killed by you. What if you had killed me? I would not be here for you. Your life would go on. Caius, do not concern yourself with me. You will always own my heart, please believe that."

Caius's eyes narrowed, and I felt small as he glared down at me, "I will stop saying that if you stop talking about me never meeting you. I might be a Volturi leader, but a Volturi leader is nothing without his mate. With the exception of Aro, that is. Come home, I've been waiting for you for so long." I kissed his pale lips as soon as he finished his sentance, and I grabbed his hand and we sprinted through the woods, leading him to the Cullen house.

My eyes were hazy and dreamy, as I came up and down on his bare chest as he breathed heavily from lack of energy from our previous contact. My arms were wrapped around his muscular yet lank torso, and it was freezing like new fallen snow. His scent was so familiar and comforting, I buried my face in his chest. He undid the hair tie that held my hair, untangling my hair with his icy hands. His freezing hands ruffled my hair and rubbed my bare back, his palm rubbing in a circular motion, as a lion would comfort its cub. The thin, sheet covers were drapped lazily, barely over my waist.

The bruises that were scattered over my body from Caius's contact cleared away as quick as they had came. _Flightless Bird, American Mouth _by Iron & Wine played through the stereo in my room in a low, dreamy manner. The windows that made up my walls searched out into the forest, giving the scene a mystic feel. Caius's icy palm rubbing my bare back made me tired, and for once, I wanted to drift off to sleep.

_Have I found you  
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth  
Big pill looming_

_Nursing my sore blunt tongue  
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks  
Pissing on magazine photos  
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold  
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream_

"One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun, ne'er saw her match since first the world begun. Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight. For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night. True, I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy. And for you and I are past our dancing days." Caius murmured as he continued to rub my freezing, bare back, and with his left hand reading from my _Romeo and Juliet_ book.

I froze; the last two sentances I remember repeating in English class. Hearing his beautiful, masculine, firm, British-accented voice murmur the lines calmed me and I smiled modestly up at him, my head on his chest. He ruffled my hair, then continued to rub my back. My eyes shut, taking in the moment.

"What's going on?" Edward arched an eyebrow and entered the house with Bella, as I stood with my mate in the main family room. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were in the room with Caius and I. Edward froze and glanced at Caius's arm around my waist. Bella analyzed me with surprise and a slight hint of content on her already pale face, and I sensed she was happy I wasn't in a depression. Carlisle and Esme turned contently to Edward. Carlisle had a satisfied smile on his face.

"As the Volturi had me stay, it is only curtious to have Caius stay with Essence and our coven for a little while."

* * *

[[Let me know how you like it. Please **read & review**!]]


	11. Mesmerize the Soul

[**11**] Mesmerize the Soul

Edward thoroughly didn't agree to Caius staying with our coven; he was furious. Carlisle and Esme were quote on quote 'honored' to have a Volturi leader staying with us. Edward had this idea in his mind that Caius would attempt to kill Bella, and I didn't really doubt it. But Carlisle requested that Caius drink animal blood for the time he was with our coven, much to his and my own dismay. Edward was very defensive of Bella and practically tried to hide her away, because he knew the Volturi already was watching closely that she would have to be changed into a vampire soon.

Caius was now added to our awkwardly quiet crowd at Forks High School. Seeing he was practically ancient in vampire years, he adjusted perfectly in his human years; an eighteen year old senior. Carlisle miraculously arranged for him to be in all of my classes.

Caius's appearance fit right with our 'family'; his shocking blond hair wasn't perfectly straight, it was messy like a high school kid. He wore classic, classy clothes, like black and white argyle and Abercrombie sweaters, borrowed from Jasper. His British accent was impossible to ignore, and so we claimed that he was Alice's cousin.

To Caius'sgreat reluctance, he was Caius Cullen for the time being. And we claimed it was a coincidence that his first name was part of my last name.

Caius, being the most sadistic and cruel vampire I've ever met, was required by Carlisle to 'train' for two days with him, Edward, Jasper and Emmett; basically, they went on a hunting trip way up in the forests of Washington to go on a 'killing animals' spree.

Caius hated being a vegetarian vampire, and it practically killed him to drink animal blood rather than a human's.

The first day back was hilariously amusing and entertaining. As usual, Rosalie drove in the school parking lot with her red convertible, Edward with his Volvo. Caius drove my usual car, a black Jeep Grand Cherokee.

After him not driving, practically never, I was surprised of how good of a driver he was. Our whole coven walked through the parking lot together, and jaws dropped and frantic whispers by almost every student in the parking lot were seen and heard, now that we had an addition to the 'family'. And I got a nice ear-full from Jessica Stanley, the bratty mortal brunette who's slightly friends with Bella.

"Have you seen the new Cullen?" She exclaimed to Angela, another one of Bella's human friends, during Biology class.

"Yeah, Caius Cullen - I think that's how you say it," Angela replied nonchalantly, "Him and Essence Hale are like that." She twisted her middle and index finger together, "I'm pretty sure they're dating."

Jessica gave Angela a predatory look, "So, another Cullen? How many siblings does that family have?"

Angela shrugged, "He's Alice's cousin, apparently." Jessica smirked, "Has Bella said anything about him? She's annoyingly close with the Cullens." Angela shook her head, "You know Bella. She's constantly hanging with them. I barely get to talk to her."

Caius's control over his thirst for human blood was feeble, yet considerably mild. I missed his crimson red eyes, though. He couldn't speak with the students in our class without practically twitching, so it was best I occupy him. The teachers all respected him, seeing as he knew everything; then again, he has been alive for thousands of years. The funniest thing, though, was that no one knew the most predatory and dangerous vampire possibly in the world was in the same room as them, or roaming the halls with me on his arm. Carlisle and Esme were out when we got home from school. Alice was ranting to Rosalie, Bella and me about the upcoming prom.

"We should go!" Alice squealed. Rosalie rolled her eyes in impatience with our sister. This surprised me, because usually none of us went to the proms, with the exception of Edward taking Bella. "It's at night, and it will be fun." Rosalie bit her lip, "I hate that school."

Bella stifled a laugh, "Edward and I are going. But, yeah, you guys should go."

All three girls shot a look at me questioningly.

"I guess I could go. But Caius wouldn't do well with a bunch of students all in one place, so we'd have to be on the outskirts of the party," I admitted, shrugging.

Caius smugly came up from behind and snaked his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear, "Il mio cantante, let's hunt in the woods."

* * *

The forest was green and lush with trees, vines, grass, ferns; it was like a dream. Caius predatory-like chased me around the forest, like that one memory I had once recalled in English class.

It started to rain and he finally caught up to me, playfully tackling me to the ground. I was on the bottom and he was above me, kissing my upper lip with his freezing, icy lips.

The Washington forests were green and the rain hitting the vegetation smelt refreshing and beautiful, as Caius kissed me through the rain.

The rain poured down in a very light drizzle, and I stablized myself on my elbows to keep myself from falling flat on my back onto the dirty soil on the forest floor. Caius laughed through kisses as I attempted to get comfortable. He reached his hand on my back and adjusted me, and I laughed too.

But both of us stopped, giving defensive and predatory gazes at the forest when we smelt wet dogs.


	12. Forbidden Fruit Tastes the Sweetest

[**12**] Forbidden Fruit Tastes the Sweetest

"I smell dog," Caius hissed, as both of us swiftly came up off the ground and on our bare feet.

The air was drenched in an smell of wet dog hair; it could only mean one thing. Jacob Black and his crew, Embry, Sam, Paul, Quil; were around Forks.

In these woods.

Caius's fingers brushed mine and wrapped his hand in my own, and we cautiously walked through the green and brown fern and tree-infested forest. The smell was getting stronger and stronger as we swiftly smelt the dog smell out. Caius's short bursts of his sweet breath were in my ear as I closely stayed beside him, his icy fingers entangled in my own.

We soon reached a wide opening in the forest, and standing there was Bella and Jacob, and his crowd of werewolves.

"Essence, Caius!" Bella's face was shocked as Caius and I entered the opening in the woods.

Caius scowled silently at the pack of teenage boy werewolves, and I knew this possibly wouldn't end well; Caius had almost been killed by a werewolf a while ago, so he never forgot it and hated them, and feared them.

I sneered at the wolf pack, Embry smirking at me as always, Caius shooting him a mean gaze.

"Bella, what are the dogs doing here?" I hissed at her, my gold eyes glaring sternly at her. She knew the pack shouldn't be on our territory.

"We could ask the same question," Jacob snarled at me, "With you and your new bloodsucker, running around the forest like wild things, it's challenging to differ your scents with Victoria." He shot a look at Caius, who equally returned it with a nasty gaze. "Bella, is this the new bloodsucker Alice was talking about?"

Bella opened her mouth, but was cut off by an angry Caius. "Yes, I'm the new bloodsucker. And you're the wolf that never leaves the Olympic territory. I suggest you leave before we kill you."

Sam, Paul and Quil angrily glanced at Caius, resisting to change into a werewolf in an attempt to fight.

"You want to fight, pale face?" Embry challenged Caius, stepping up the intimidatingly strong and tall vampire. Embry was barely a teenager, while Caius was thousands of years old and trapped in a twenty-year-old's body. So them fighting wouldn't be the best idea.

Caius's black eyes eyed Embry up and down as if he was something to eat.

My eyes narrowed at Jacob, and pulled Caius back from attacking Embry.

"Stop antagonizing him, Embry. Us and Victoria are very different, Jacob. And if we find Victoria, we can kill her ourselves. You're the back-up. And watch what comes out of your dog mouth." I snapped, not willing to be patient to the wolf pack.

"Fine," Jacob huffed, "When Victoria comes on our territory, we're going after her."

* * *

"It's gorgeous!"

"Alice, No it's not."

"Is too!"

"Not."

"Rosalie, Bella, tell her she looks beautiful!"

"Essence, you know Alice just wants you to say it. So say it."

We were in Port Angeles on an extremely cloudy day, which hid our sparkling problem. Alice, Bella, Rosalie and I had gone up to Port Angeles to shop for dresses for prom.

The guys had already gotten their attire for the prom. We had practically dragged Bella into the store, now that prom was tomorrow night. Paramore's_ I Caught Myself _played in the modest, antique-like dress boutique as Alice shoved dress after dress on me, insisting I needed the perfect dress for the prom.

I didn't even want to go. But Alice had picked out her favorite for me, a short cocktail dress, black and strapless at the top and white at the bottom, with white open-toed heels.

For herself, she picked out a short powder blue dress. Rosalie had a blood-red, longer dress, and Bella a modest dark blue.

The night grew darker, and before I knew it, it was six o' clock. Carlisle and Esme were out hunting. The prom was starting in half an hour. I was ancy as I examined my reflection in the mirror. The dress fit me, and Alice had taken the curling iron to my blond hair, sending it in loose, modestly straighter curls with my bangs pinned back. Alice had applied her black mascara and eyeliner to my eyes and a light lip stain to my lips.

She insisted I take off my black nail polish and Volturi pendant, but I wanted to keep them on. She called me her 'masterpiece', but the better choice of word would be that she made me to look like her 'Barbie'.

The polished cherry wood of the banister touched my cold skin as I made my way down each step of the staircase, with hesitation. I didn't like this feeling, like I was a real human, doing human things. I decided to accept it for just this one night; I was being taken to prom by a vampire who was over a thousand years old. I definatley wasn't human.

Jasper was dressed in an attractive dress shirt, pants and tie, and kissed Alice's hand as she descended from the staircase and they disappeared into the night, off to Forks High. Edward had went to pick Bella up at the Swan's house. Emmett was dressed in a similarly handsome casual, formal outfit, like Jasper. He guided Rosalie with an arm around her hip and disappeared to prom with Rosalie.

Caius wore a white dress shirt, black tie, pants and shoes, and looked far better than all three Cullen boys put together. His normally straight hair was messy. He held his arm out for me, and I took it was grace.

He smiled and pressed his icy lips into mine and I smiled through the kiss, the freezing sensation rushing swiftly through my body.

"I'm no good at this human stuff," He laughed his firm, British laugh, my head buried in his chest, "But I think I stand one night, if it means to be with you."

* * *

[[When Caius goes with Essence to prom, imagine the normal Jamie Campbell Bower, just with black or gold eyes :) Please let me know how you like it! **Review**, please!]]


	13. No One Will Surrender Tonight

[**13**] No One Will Surrender Tonight

It was twilight, the hazy, yellow and darker blue clouds hiding away the fading sun.

It hadn't rained, and the woods nearby remained untouched by water. The lake beside the building not far from Forks High that the prom was being held at, was beautiful. The water reflected the sun's fading, so light shimmering was coming off the calm waves.

The prom was Alice's awful idea, yet Caius was patient enough to suffer through it. But he didn't have to suffer for long. Edward and Bella were inside at the prom. Way too crowded with humans, for both me and Caius.

Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere inside, or in sight for that matter. They were probably out in the woods, not wanting to be around humans for too long.

The music was blasting and shaking the place.

Caius smirked at me knowingly, and kissed my head softly, an icy sensation of adrenaline and something like static going through my veins.

His icy hand wrapped up in mine and walked me outside, into the twilight. No one was in sight, and white decoration lights were strung around the trees as the night grew faded and darker.

The air was cold on my shoulders as his hand guided me up the steps to the sheltered platform in the center of the courtyard. He was so lanky, in his dress shirt, black tie and jacket. His hair was messy and so different than before.

His golden eyes gazed matter-of-factly into mine, and smirked at me. "Shall we?"

I nodded slightly and his icy hand clapsed on my waist possessively, and took my right hand in his gently. His hand was like touching new fallen snow in your hand.

I rested my left hand on his shoulder, and very slowly and gradually, we danced. _Flightless Bird, American Mouth_ played distantly in the distance, reminding me of a few days prior when we had laid on my bed while he read to me, Romeo and Juliet. "We're like two high school humans," I laughed quietly.

Caius laughed a quiet laugh, firm and accent-filled, "I'm horrible at it. I'm the only one with a British accent. And, I'm the oldest looking person in the senior class; I mean, I'm thousands of years old."

His golden eyes searched mine, and I saw a hint of bruising forming above his cheek bones.

I half-smiled at him jokingly, "Maybe I should stop dating such an old man. It's gross."

He laughed at this, "Maybe I shouldn't be mating with such a young bambina; it's against the law." He pressed his lips into my upper lip gently, securing the fact he wouldn't leave me. My eyes immediately closed, and I leaned into him eagerly, returning his pleading affection. The coldness of his skin relieved me, sending feelings of electricity through my body. The stillness and quiet of the twilight completed the scene, only Iron & Wine's song drifting in the night air to the kiss.

_I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins  
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys_

_And when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair_

_Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere_

_Have I found you  
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth  
Big pill looming_

_Now I'm a fat house cat  
Nursing my sore blunt tongue  
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks  
Pissing on magazine photos  
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold  
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream_

_Have I found you  
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth  
Big pill stuck going down_

"Non posso aspettare per sempre," He murmured to me as we broke away from the kiss, "Volterra is your home, you were born and raised there. You don't belong in Forks. The Cullens are your friends, not your family. Without you with me in the Volturi, I will ask Aro and Marcus to destroy me."

His eyes examined me, searching for a response.

"Caius, don't talk like that. You're needed, with the Volturi. Please don't ask Aro and Marcus such a terrible thing. Not over someone as pathetic as me! I shouldn't mean much to you. I love you, that's what matters, and you should know that. Side by side of miles apart, my heart will belong to you." I was stuttering like Bella.

Caius shook his head, "You shouldn't mean much to me? That's not true, Essence. You're my mate."

"What if I hadn't had a gift that you could not attack me? I would've ended up like all the other tourists that are brought daily into the Volturi hall. You would have killed me if it wasn't for my ability. Or what if Aro or Marcus had gotten to me first? I would not be in your arms now, or ever. Athenodora would be the heart that you own, not mine." I said quietly.

Mentioning Athenodora could cause Caius to get angry, but so be it.

"But _you_ are in my arms, aren't you, Essence? And Aro and Marcus didn't get to you first, I did. Athenodora was nothing compared. She was unemotional, arrogant, too much like myself." His lip slightly twitched into a slight sadistic smirk, but then turned serious once more.

"You control me, or sometimes don't control me, such as when I watch you kill a vampire. You keep my mood in check, I guess. I need that, the stablization, or balance. If you were a human now, I would not care. I would never hurt you, as much I crave blood." Caius's possessive clasp on my waist relaxed as he spoke.

"Jane said you ripped Athenodora to shreds, limb by limb," I breathed, my eyes searching his flawless face, "And she didn't know the reason, either that or she didn't want to tell me. Why? Why did you kill her? She could have been there for you while I am not." I pointed out, our faces inches from each other.

He gave me a confused gaze.

"And I could say the same thing to you about Embry. The way he looks at you, Essence. It kills me." He gave a sad, yet predatory look when he said Embry, "Because I know I won't be able to stay with you forever, if it's here in Washington. I am needed in Volterra, with the Volturi. Embry could give you everything if you let him. He could keep you safe, stay by your side. And I can only do that here, at least, for only so long."

I gazed up at him sadly. I didn't want him to leave me, ever.


	14. I'll Never Love Again

[**14**] I'll Never Love Again

The night was dark and quiet, as was the house, when Caius opened the door for me and switched on the lights.

The chandelier that hung from the ceiling lit up and the house echoed with emptiness. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Bella, Carlisle and Esme were out for the night, so we had the house to ourselves. Caius sighed and took my icy hand in his, guiding me silently up the stairs and into my freezing, echoing room.

The prom was amazing, but the conversation Caius and I had worried and concerned me. He missed Volterra, and I knew he had to return to his place at his throne soon.

He couldn't stay here in Forks, halfway across the world from where he belonged. He couldn't pose as a British exchange student much longer. So it was only expected when he switched on the light, and turned to me.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning," A pained gaze drifted across his face. "Please come with me, ti amo."

I carefully and slowly let my necklace slip off, taking in what he had just said.

I glanced at him sadly, giving him a sad and surprised sad glare. He couldn't be serious; I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to be left alone again. Those six months when he had been away had ruined everything, turned my world upside down. He straightened up his tie and then ripped it off, throwing it down on the flat, thin bed.

He unbuttoned his shirt and smoothed out his hair, pulling me into him as he sat down. My eyes blinked at him and I sat in shock, my eyes avoiding his.

His freezing hands grazed my back as I buried my face into his shoulder, and I gripped his back, almost as if I'd never let him go.

He could not leave me, I would suffer without him. But I couldn't go with him, not unless Victoria was killed first. He kissed my forehead, then took my face in his thin, papery, cold hands.

"Quando esco la mattina, mi Sarà sicuramente ne pentirete." He whispered, then kissed my full lips.

I rested my head on his shoulder.

I buried my face in his chest until my eyes were shut. I breathed, and his familiar, attractive scent satisfying me and feeling protected. His cold hands gripped me in his arms as he towered over me in height, he caressed my back and comforted me. His hand brushed through my hair and his pale, ice-cold lips pressed gently on my forehead with lust in his eyes.

He hushed me in a quiet whisper and placed my face in his hands. His eyes searched my red eyes questioningly. He put a hand behind my neck and he pressed his lips into mine, and I accepted it eagerly. His lip kissed my upper lip and his lips then grazed my neck, and stopped at the half moon shaped scar that resided on my pale skin. He examined it in silence, and matched eyes with me.

It was the scar he had given me when I was bitten, a scar that would stay there forever. I blinked at him silently and watched him as his freezing fingers traced the scar twice, curiousty filling his beautifully handsome face.

His smirk was crooked yet romantic and he whispered, "Without you, I can't go on normally. I'll go crazy. This isn't your home; this is your hide-out. Please, Essence. Come with me, come home." He knew the answer as soon as he said it, "Aro, Marcus, Jane...we all need you. You're our family.

My eyes searched his pleadingly and guilitly. "I will come home one day, Caius; I love you, and you know it. But I can't come home, not yet." I whispered, fighting back the urge to cry out.

He nodded, trying to understand, and kissed my forehead and pushed my hair behind my ears, his icy touch electrifying to my senses.

Caius lay on the bed, resting, but closely watching me as I sat up, my back to him at the end of the bed. The bruises faded once more as quick as the came, and Caius came up from behind me and kissed me, rubbing my back, his hand freezing cold on my skin. He was acting in his predatory behavior again, protectively watching me and anticipating my every move.

Caius kissed me gently, imprisoning me in his arms and on his lap. I shut my eyes, resting. And I zoned out as Caius rubbed my back, calming me down.

My eyes opened, not long after. I hadn't fallen asleep, of course I couldn't do that. But vampires can drift off into a daze, a form of resting. And I panicked as I saw the rumpled sheets beside me did not have Caius underneath them, his familiar and comforting scent gone. It felt as though someone had punched me, as I noticed that the sun had risen, even though it was very early, it was breaking dawn.

He had left in the night, so he would not be taken by the sunlight. I frantically searched underneath the sheets, and found a note, written on ancient, yellowed paper, scribbled on it fancy cursive writing; Caius's writing.

_Essence,_

_I understand that you must stay, but I don't understand at the same time. The Volturi will be there soon enough to check on Bella, and all of us will be there. I don't want to be selfish and hold you back. I'm going back to Volterra, and I need you to know that I'll always be here waiting. _

_Ti amo,  
Caius_

I re-read the letter again and again, over and over. I heard his voice saying the words in my head. I sighed.

How long is forever?


End file.
